Take It Or Leave It
by VisionOfDivision
Summary: The last thing I remember hearing is, “Those pants would dry a lot better if you took them off. Hang them up.” So I did. And I was gone. And this would be the most complicated one night stand.
1. What Happened?

Take It Or Leave It

A/N: I don't own any of South of Nowhere unfortunately. New idea, let's see where it goes. Reviews would be great to let me know whether I should continue it or not. Thanks :)

"This is a pretty wild party," I stated evenly, lifting my drink for another sip, casually, letting the warmth of the alcohol seep through my body.

"What?" the guy next to me who we will now refer to as Aiden asked.

"I said this party's pretty sick!" I yelled and leaned into his ear as I did so.

He grinned, "Billy always throws the best parties."

I stood there bobbing my head to the music, silently wondering who names their kid Billy this day in age, but the thought quickly left me as rather heavy guy slammed into me, my mixed concoction sloshing but low enough in the cup so it didn't spill. I grumbled but didn't say anything, knowing this was how parties went and I knew it when I signed up for it.

"Ash, this is Billy," he yelled in my ear, and then turned to the guy who was clearly inebriated beyond belief, "Yo, Billy, sick party," they man hugged and I think if I'm not mistaken I just saw Billy spit or drool on Aiden who definitely didn't even notice.

"I'm just going to be round' here all night kay, dudes, so if you need anything just come finds me or something kay dudes?" he asked in his drunken state backing up to walk away bumping into a couple people as he disappeared out of my line of vision.

Aiden shook his head, "I swear he's a great guy. Just gotta meet him when he's sober."

"I'm sure," I muse scanning the room for any sense of familiarity. I wasn't surprised at the fact that there was nobody here I knew. I never knew anybody at parties. That's not say I'm a recluse, but parties have never been my thing.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry!" a small red head who was previously engaged in her version of sex with clothes on, yelled over at me insincerely while my thigh remained soaked with beer. Case in point.

"Do you think that guys her boyfriend?" Aiden asked me finishing off his beer.

"Who?" I asked uncomfortably, shifting my weight from one leg to the other.

"The guy who was just grinding up against the cute red head."

"You mean the cute red head who's the reason my thigh is soaked?" I asked perturbed.

He threw up his hands in defense, "What? She's hot."

I rolled my eyes and stalked off, having enough of Aiden, I entered the kitchen where three guys were doing a beer bong in the corner. Parties.

"Hey is that beer on your pants or are you just happy to see me?" some guy called out.

"Cute," I replied curtly.

He began to walk over to me, "Girl, you need to loosen up."

"So you can get into my pants easier?" I questioned him with a raised eye brow.

"If not for me, for some lucky guy, even if its just to get a dance out of you, come on!" he guided me over to the table, "Have you ever done tequila shots before?"

My brain flexed I'm sure as it tried to dig into my subconscious, desperately trying to remember if I have, I shrugged, "I'm not sure."

"Okay, well here," he lifted a bottle, "It's called Cuervos. Comma Jose," okay he was kind of funny, "We put this little liquid into these small glasses. They're called shot glasses," okay what was I, five?

I cut him off, "I know what shots are ass hole."

He smiled, "You seem a little lost so I wasn't sure how back to the basics to go. Anyway, lick your hand, pour the salt so it sticks, grab a lime to be ready. After we say go, you lick the salt off your hand, down the shot, and suck on the lime."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun," and he said it like it was the most obvious statement I'd ever hear.

"Sounds invigorating."

He poured the salt onto my freshly licked hand and handed me a small slice of a lime which I looked at and grimaced, "Can't we just take the shot and skip the lime?"

"Trust me, babe. You will want the lime."

"Okay, lets just do this."

He held up his glass as he held his hand closer to his face, "One. Two. Three!" he yelled out loudly, clinked my glass and then did the triple threat, quickly followed by me.

I coughed, "That was terrible!"

"But wasn't it exciting?" he asked as you could see his inebriation get deeper and he lost more and more control of his eye balls.

The last thing I remember hearing is, "Those pants would dry a lot better if you took them off. Hang them up." So I did. And I was gone.

~*~

Consciousness started hitting me on the head and I never realized consciousness hit so hard, I mean it hit really hard, like with a baseball bat. It wouldn't stop as it kept slamming me and as I began to lift my head consciousness had stirred the contents of my stomach too because nausea filled my every being. I groaned, slowly letting my head lay back down on the pillow, trying to ward off this feeling that I know to be hangovers. I've only been hungover two other times. Once was at my 17th birthday party when Julian brought a bottle of Captain Morgan because he decided it would be fun. The other being when I got accepted to UCLA because so did Aiden and he wanted to celebrate. Both times, I ended up in my own bed. I was definitely not in my own bed.

I opened my eyes again and slowly turned my head to angle a better position because my neck was getting stiff. I had to stifle a scream when I saw another body beside me, "Shit…," I lifted the covers a little to reveal that I was indeed in my birthday suit except the sad thing is it wasn't my birthday. Not even close, "You asshole better have used protection," I muttered to the blonde boy laying next to me, immersed in sleep and the covers.

The body stirred and I think this is the most fragile looking boy I'd ever seen, "Protection for what? My abnormally large dick?" she croaked out through sleep, obviously hearing my comment.

Oh. My. God, "You're a girl?" I ask calmly, hoping that my horror isn't evident.

"You tell me," she slowly lifted half of her body up and looked at me through the deepest of blue clarity.

My eyes bulged as I gulped down a whole lot of nothing down my throat, "I uh...I have to go," I rushed out, paniced.

Her eye brows furrowed in confusion, "Uh, okay? Good morning to you too."

"Please tell me there's a good explanation for why I'm naked," I asked quickly, pulling my shirt on.

"Oh it was definitely a good reason," she snorted.

Cue my face falling, "Well. This has been fun. Let's hope we don't end up in these circumstances again. Bye," I ran out of the room and out of the house and into my-car? Except, I don't even remember how I got here but my phone was in my pants pocket thankfully so I dialed the only person I could think of.

"You left me hear?" I yelled into the receiver.

"You told me it was okay and that you'd call me in the morning to pick you up," I woke him up, clearly.

"When did I say that?" yeah, that's right, I'm grilling him. That lying son of a bitch.

"Right after you played your second game of beer pong, I told you I wanted to head out and you said you were going to stay and that you'd call me in the morning."

"I played beer pong?"

I could practically hear him shaking his head on the other hand, "Yeah, Ash, you did. You sunk five. It was pretty epic. I'm on way so just hang tight, all right?"

"Yeah, okay. You better hurry."

I quickly jumped into the car before it even came to a full stop, "Drive, Aiden."

"What happened?"

"Let's just go home," I muttered.

He drove. I slowly walked inside and collapsed on the couch while the people in my head chiseled away at nothing. I thought he'd left but he emerged again with a glass of water and a couple of Ibuprofen.

"I'm going to just keep bringing you water until I've counted eight glasses," he cautioned.

"My bladder might explode and then there'll be worse problems than just a little pounding headache."

"That couch is ancient, anyway, it won't matter," Aiden brushed off as he made his way into the kitchen, "You going to tell me what happened last night or am I going to have to force it out of you?" he yelled from inside the fridge. Well, he wasn't actually in the fridge, though that'd be kind of cool. Just his head.

I let out some kind of inaudible groan and when he came back he was holding a sandwich, "BLT, light on the mayo," he smiled

My eyes widened as I inwardly cursed myself for moving my eyelids too fast, bringing on some sudden pain, "Gimme!"

"What happened last night?"

I know that look. He's not going to give me the sandwich, "Nothing."

"Well, then I guess I'll have to eat this sandwich," he replied nonchalantly, sitting on the recliner across from me, setting the plate on his lap.

"I don't remember what happened, Aiden. I honestly don't," I told him, embarrased.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I know I was doing shots with some guy-"

"David," he corrected.

"Right! That's what his name was. I was having shots with David...and uhm...and then somebody said, 'Those pants would dry a lot better if you took them off. Hang them up,'."

He laughed, "Yeah, when I left you weren't wearing any pants."

I'm pretty sure I look mortified, "Why didn't you stop me?" I yelled and winced at the loudness of my own voice.

"I told you to put your pants back on and you said and I quote, 'Shut up, Aidey, I'm playing beer pong and I'm about to kick some ass,' unquote."

"Hm. I must be a very coherant drunk."

"Oh, no. It was definitely slurred. I just speak slur very well."

"So what happened after that?"

"I told you. I left. I don't know what you did after that."

The memory of this morning came flooding back which led to my thoughts of what happened after Aiden left, "I think I slept with somebody."

"Ew, David?"

"No…"

"Good," he loosened up a little bit. Aiden's so protective, I swear.

"I don't know...uh...her..uh...name."

"Whoa! A girl?" he looked like he was going to explode from surprise...or something else. Ew.

"Yes. A very blonde very pretty girl."

And now Aiden put on his thinking cap as he was clearly racking his brain trying to think about who it could have been, "Did she have a Monroe piercing?"

"That'd be a negative."

"That takes out Krissy. She's a wild one alright," he said as if he knows this for a fact. God, fucking Aiden, "What color eyes did she have?"

"Shit uhm...BLUE!" I yelled, her piercing orbs coming back to me, "They were definitely blue. The bluest shits I have ever seen."

"I think Meghan's eyes are like...hazel so it wouldn't be her. Plus she's super straight. Like abnormally straight. Not even willing to bend a little bit."

I rolled my eyes, "How unfortunate."

"Indeed it is...she was cute. Uhm...does she have this weird birth mark on her her boob?"

"Jesus christ, Aiden, I don't remember. What do you do when you have sex with a girl number her birth marks? I saw her face for like five seconds this morning before I sprinted out of there."

"Oh wait, I don't think Tammy was at the party last night anyway. I would have definitely remembered."

"Well, now that we've eliminated three girls it couldn't be, we still have the rest of the blonde female population of Los Angeles to worry about."

"Tough," he handed me my sandwich, "Hurry up and recover. You agreed to go to my life drawing class with me today, remember?"

"I don't see why I need to go to this."

"Because, I went with you to your How to Save the Planet 101 thing," he threw back.

"It was called Resource Conservation."

"Whatever. So you have to go with me to my life drawing class. Besides, my friend Coby is in charge of it. Actually, he's friends with Billy so he was probably at the party last night. Maybe he'll have an idea of who the girl was."

"No!" Aiden looked at me confusedly, "I mean...it was a one time thing. I'm not-I'm not gay, Aiden. I don't want people getting the wrong idea of me. Just...lets not tell people, okay?"

"Ash, nobody said you were gay."

"I know, but still. Just, don't, okay?"

He shrugged, "Whatever," and walked into his room to change, "It's kind of hot, though!" he yelled out slamming his door, blocking any answer I might have had to his lame statement.

The pain relievers were starting to kick in but, I still didn't feel well and my body screamed at me as I got up. That must have been some hardcore sex, that's all I have to say. By the time I'd showered and gotten some clean clothes on I did feel a little better. Showering really does relieve hangovers. Too tired to drive and too pissed off that I had to go, I made Aiden drive.

"Ashley, you look like a celebrity, hiding from the law," he poked as he parked his car and looked over at me, hunched down, wearing sunglasses while my hand rested on my forhead.

"I'm tired."

"Oh, just get up," he snapped as he slammed the door and began to walk to the building. I tired to just stay in the car but he wouldn't let me, "I'll send people after you if you don't come and it won't be pretty!" he yelled back as he kept walking, so I got out of the car.

~*~

"Hello everyone, nice of you to join us all here today on your Saturday mornings. Some of you look a little bit tired. Must've partied a little to hard last night," he joked and I could swear he was staring right at me. Have you ever gotten the feeling somebody knows but you're not sure what they know. That's now. "My name is Coby Jacobson and we provide a lot of classes at the Center, here, as you all may or may not know, and well, a little background, I graduated from the Art Institute in Chicago, moved here with my girlfriend Adrianna and have been teaching classes for a little while now. This is kind of a basics art class for those of you who want to learn the basics or those of you who want to sharpen your skills maybe, but this is life drawing. We learn to capture the essence of life, but in order to do that, we need to learn how to draw life in every aspect."

He spent the day teaching about shading and shapes and color and texture and to be honest I wish I was a better artist but I'm not. I can't draw to save my life and really if I was in a dungeon and the guy was like draw me something good or you're dead, I'd be killed. It's that bad.

"Nice apple," Aiden teased.

"I think it looks good!" I pouted.

"It looks like a drunken dinosaur," he giggled. Yeah, Aiden giggles, but he's not gay.

"I like it," I defend.

"Alright, everyone hold up your apples. I want to see all your interpretations of the apple on the stool. This is a judgement free zone, we have all different stages of artists in this room. Some of you don't even plan on being artists. Just show your creations."

I held mine up and the kid across from me laughed and I glared at him but he didn't seem to care, "That looks like a dinosaur," he yelled over to me.

"I told you!" Aiden cheered in victory.

"Whatever," I shrugged, "I don't plan on becoming an artist anyway."

"I see some of you are talking about it. That's good. Talk about your art. Let the conversation continue. After our next activity though. This is called life drawing, though and in order to be able to capture life, you need to capture people. I brought my friend in, today, who was happy to share her time with us as a live model. Let's welcome my long time friend, Spencer Carlin."

I was kind of staring and assesing my apple that I drew when I felt Aiden hit me and whisper in my ear, "Hottttt!"

I looked up casually and there a pair of ocean blues stood and if magnitism had it's way my head shot down, because my apple is way more fascinating.

"I want everyone to behave appropriatley, seeing as how we're all adults. Spencer has agreed to model nude for us to capture every form of the human life.

The men whistled and I kept staring down and when I did look up her eyes captured mine. I'm pretty sure I turned bright red.

"She just smiled at you!" Aiden not so subtley whispered.

"Shut up," I whispered back. I looked back up and she was staring at me, kind of blatantly, though everyone began to draw so I guess this was the position she chose. To stare at me. And to make me abnormally uncomfortable. Her expression was confident, it had to be if she was standing in a room full of striving artists naked, but it was confident at me. And analytical. I slid my beanie further down my face and put my sunglasses on.

"Everyone, I want you to really focus on all the features. Capture the essence of life everywhere on her. Note the curvatures of her that give her the classic female figure and all parts of the anatomy. Capture Spencer on paper, like you want to keep her forever, except not really because that'd be creepy," he laughed and received a few chuckles back. This guy was at the party last night? I don't remember him.

As we finished up, he reminded us that there was another session next Saturday and to mark it and as I met eyes with Spencer one last time I ducked my head and made an escape for the door but Aiden wouldn't let me.

"Ash, hold up!" he grabbed my wrist and walked me over to Coby, "Hey, Coby, this is my friend Ashley. She was at Billy's party last night."

He coughed a little in surprise, "Just friends?"

He always got uncortable when people asked us this, "Uh, yeah, just friends. Room mates. Anyway, she was at the party. She got pretty smashed."

"Yeah uh, I uh...saw you there. I remember."

"Do you happen to remember anything that happened after I left? Because she doesn't."

I elbowed him, "No, yeah, I remember just fine," I lied.

"Oh?" he gave me an amused expression, "Since we're introducing friends," he turned to the back of the room, "Spencer, come over here! I have a couple friends I want you to meet!" She smiled at him and walked over, "Spence, this is my man Aiden, I've known him for a while since he used to live in Chi-town. And this is his just friend, Ashley," he grinned. He so knew. He so fucking knew. She told him. Shit.

Her eyes danced in amusement, contemplating what to say, but she settled on something simple, "Hey, Aiden, I've heard about you in conversation before. Ashley. Beautiful name. I don't believe I've had the pleasure," she smiled politely.

Classy. Real classy. At least she's not a total bitch, "Were you at the party last night? I feel like I saw you there."

She seemed a bit taken aback by the question, not expecting to be asked that, not expecting to have to lie, so she didn't, "Uh, yeah, I've known Billy for a long fucking time. I was definitely uh...there," she looked at me. Her eyes were boring into mine and it was making me sick. Sick because I was so incredibly nervous because her eyes were so beautiful.

"Yeah, weren't you playing Beer Pong with Ashley when I left?"

"Yeah...we won," she answered hesitantly as the pieces started to come together in my head...somewhat.

I turned to look at Aiden and finally everything came together as I saw his eyes light up and suddenly it was an unspoken but known fact about what Spencer and I did last night, but nobody brought it up.

"Well, hey, Spence and I were just going to go get some lunch. You guys should join us," Coby offered and the look of panic on Spencer's face was so evident it was ridculous.

"Yeah, that'd be great! Let the girls get to know each other a little better," he smiled knowingly.

And don't think I didn't catch that. I know what he meant. Asshole.


	2. Call Me

I had trouble looking up all throughout lunch. Everytime I did, I just saw Spencer staring at me, kind of inquisitively. She really was beautiful. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and she kinda had these pink, red lips, naturally. She even had a white flower in her hair today too.

"Ashley?"

"What?" I asked coming out of my daze, seeing Spencer smirk out of the corner of my eye. Shut up, bitch.

"Coby asked if you had a boyfriend."

"Oh," and I think my oh lingered too long.

"Is that no?" Coby asked, somewhat hopefully. I thought he had a girlfriend.

"No. I don't. Single me. Single and ready to mingle. Free free free," so I ramble when I get nervous.

"Why have you guys not fucked yet?" Spencer asked rather bluntly and I actually did choke on my ice tea.

Aiden looked at me, not really knowing what to say and Coby looked at me which left Spencer staring at me fully intent on knowing why, "Who says we haven't?" I asked her, playing her game.

"It's obvious. You have the we've been friends for a while and nothing has ever happened between us look."

"There's a look for that?" I try to change the subject, poorly, I might add.

"Anyway, why haven't you guys?"

"Aiden's like my brother."

"Ouch! The line every guy hates to hear," Coby hoots.

Aiden flicks his hand but in a very ungaylike way, "Nah, it's good this way." Aiden's so convincing.

"So, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Coby asks me.

"Why doesn't Aiden have a girlfriend?"

"I did...for like...16 months. How could you forget Madison?"

"Oh...right. Time flies when you're having fun."

"She was a bitch, bro," Coby reminds him.

"It's still fresh. A month isn't that long," he pouts.

Spencer focuses it back on me, "So why don't you have a boyfriend?" she grills.

"I don't...I have to pee," I squeak out as I hurry to the bathroom.

As I'm sitting in the stall, not really peeing because my pants are on, the door opens and by her heels I know it's her.

"Ashley, I know you're in here so eventually you have to come out…no pun intended."

I groan, knowing she's got me corned so I come out...of the stall. Shut up, "Hey," I avoid her stare and go to wash my hands.

"You can't hide from it."

"From what?" I ask knowing fully well what she's talking about.

"We had sex, Ashley. Really hot, amazing sex."

I wince at the words, "Uh, if you say so."

She laughs sincerely, "Hun, you can't change what happened."

"I know. I just don't see why you and everyone else insists upon talking about it," I throw back as I continue to wash my hands and look down at said hands.

I can feel her walking towards me. Plus, I can hear the sound of her red Mary Janes as she stops. She turns the faucet off and grabs a paper towel and then grabs my wrists, trying to dry my hands, "Ashley, look at me."

I force my head to look up, "It doesn't have to mean any more than what you make it...I guess," she smiles sincerely.

"I was really drunk. And we had sex. That's all it was."

"All right, then. That's all it was," she turned around to leave and then stopped, "Except, for the record, I wasn't the one who initiated it. Just so you know. I actually tried to stop it."

"And what happened?" I ask curiously.

"We won beer pong, as you might remember. We decided to go celebrate and so we had some more shots and then you were all, 'You know what the ultimate celebration is?' and I was all 'What is it, Ashley?' and you were all, 'Celebratory Sex,' and then you totally began to make out with me and I tried to tell you you were drunk and you kept telling me that if you didn't want to do it you wouldn't be doing this."

I think I turned a whole new shade of red, "Well isn't that nice."

She laughed, "And then you said something like, 'I know it must turn you on that all I'm wearing are skimpy lacey underwear so lets just do it,'."

"And did it?"

"Did what?" she asked confused.

"Did it turn you on?"

"Nothing I haven't seen before," she shrugged. She's so full of shit.

"Why, Miss Carlin I think it turned you on," I quipped and then walked out the door, Spencer quickly following.

"So did you ladies have fun in there?" Coby asked with too much intrigue.

"I had to wash my hands," I piped.

"And I helped," Spencer challenged.

Aiden looked confused, "So are you guys saying you did or did not have sex again?"

There it was. In the open. Blinds pulled up. First one to say it out loud...while we were all together. And it couldn't be taken back and that's what I hated. It pained me to hear it because now people were going to thing I was some lesbian and nothing against lesbians because I've been friends with lesbians but I'm not one.

"We didn't have sex," I don't even know why I'm trying to deny it. It's kind of a fact we did that I'd like to change. Like, I want to build a time machine and go back in time to that night and prevent the shots.

"Uh, yeah, we did," she pointed out very matter-of-factly.

"Prove it!" I stuck my tongue out, very pleased with my child like manner because she couldn't.

She smirked and I knew I just made the biggest mistake of my life, other than last night, "Well, I can tell you that when Ashley orgasms her toes clench really hard and it's kinda cute and I actually have a scratch on my back from where you gripped me so tight. I mean, babe, I knew I was good, but I must have been really good. I can also tell you that if you suck on Ashley's-"

"We get it!" I yell, irritated that she'd go there. So much for classy.

"That could have been a lucky guess," Aiden suggested, and I can't decide whether he's trying to be a good friend by saving me or trying to make excuses, willing what happened last night to not be true.

Coby rolled his eyes, "No. It happened. I'm pretty sure I heard it."

And now I reached a whole new level of mortification, "You...you h-heard it?"

"I guess Spencer's pretty good, huh?"

I blink a few times, "I don't remember."

"Maybe you're going to have to reenact it, then," Coby winked.

"I'm not gay," I tell him. Gotta be straight up with people sometimes.

"Of course you're not."

~*~

"I can't believe you had to come with me," I groaned as I pushed the basket to the baking aisle.

"Well, I do consume half the food in the house so I should be able to pick out half the food you buy."

"But, I'm buying this for me."

"Ash, I buy you things all the time. If I want a couple things, I don't think it'd be too much for me to ask."

I gave him my best glare and squinted, "You make more than me a month. No. Fucking. Way."

"We make practically the same amount of money."

"You work at the market!" I tried to convince him that he had it better in the food department.

"The discounts aren't that good," he lied as she sheepishly looked at his feet.

"I'm not buying your groceries, bitch."

"Then I'm never buying you coffee."

"Huh?"

"You work at Starbucks. No more coffee for you."

"Aiden, you pay with my work card so you always get discounts, even for yourself."

"Whoa, are we having a couples quarrel over here?" Billy asked as he came upon Aiden and I arguing. Hey, Billy!

"No. Ashley's just being selfish."

He took a good look at me, really sizing me up, now that he was pretty sober, I'd assume. He gave me this weird look, "Apparently she's not too selfish," he laughed and would you look who came up behind him.

"Billy, I think we should get some- Oh, hey Aiden! Ashley," she said a little more cold.

"I was just getting reaquainted with, Ashley here since we were both a little under the influence last time we met," Billy informed her, eyes not leaving me. Oh, jesus, I know that look. He's imagining something...something sick, "But uh, not as aquainted as you've gotten, I'm sure."

Spencer's horrified look matched mine, "W-w-what?"

Billy looked at Aiden, "You know about this dude?" and pointed the finger between us two.

Aiden rolled his eyes, "It was a one time thing. They were both really drunk."

"I think Ashley was a bit more gone than Spencer. Might want to learn how to handle your liquor, babe," he informed me because you know, he's really good at handling his liquor...obviously.

"You were disgusting when you were drunk," I spat out, "At least I don't drool on people."

"I don't know. Spencer, does Ashley drool when she's drunk?"

Still in shock she barely even comes to focus, "What?"

"Did she drool on you while she was inside of you?"

"Dude, you're being really inappropriate," Aiden told him, clearly pissed off.

"Whatever. Forget about it. Already forgotten. Wala! Anyways, I'm having another party this Saturday night. You guys should come...and pace yourselves."

Aiden eyed him more than a little irritated, "We'll see what we've got going on, yeah?" he turned and looked at me, his eyes telling me that if I didn't want to go we didn't need to go.

"I'll think about it."

We waved goodbye and continued on our merry way when Spencer called out after me, "Ashley!"

"What?" I turned around waiting for her to say something.

"Check your contacts list. You'll find a little surprise," she smiled sweetly, and then kept walking with Billy.

As we walked away I shuffled through all the names and landed on Spencer:) and it made me chuckle.

"The old fuck and leave your number in their phone routine," Aiden sighed, fondly remembering some good times he's had.

"What is this routine exactly?"

"It means they were hot and you wanted to do them so you did but you realized in the course of doing that that they'd be good to get to know so you decided you wouldn't mind it being more than a one night stand therefore giving them your number, hoping they'll call you or text you."

"Wow. Maybe that's just what it means when you do it."

"Yeah, because you know, people like to leave their numbers in peoples' phones just to never be called by them," he replied sarcastically. Ass.

"Well, I like making new friends."

"Ash, you do realize she's a lesbian, right?"

"She is? I thought she was just a drunk straight girl like me," I laughed at how ridiculous that sounded as soon as it left my mouth.

"No. She's uh...very gay," he cautioned.

"Yay! A lesbian friend."

"Just...be careful okay?"

"Why? It's not like Spencer's going to rape me Aiden, god."

"No, I just mean. Watch out. For her. For her feelings I mean. If she likes you, you wouldn't want to lead her on."

"No no no no no. She knows we're just friends. We talked in the bathroom. It's all good," I smiled at him confidently.

"If you say so."


	3. Too Hot

I don't know why I go to these. Maybe it's because Aiden will pout if I don't go. We don't party much during the school year. Believe it or not, we work hard, especially Aiden. He's going to be a doctor, I'm sure of it. Why he insists upon taking numerous art classes, I don't know. I think secretly he wants to be some striving, starved, tortured artist but knows its not realistic, especially with the brains he was delt, to pass up on something like being a doctor. I was never that smart. How I got into UCLA is beyond me.

The music's too loud and the bass is thudding so hard I think my ears might just bleed, "You made it!" Billy yelled over the music, a lot more sober than the last time.

"Yeah!" Aiden yelled back excited, "God, I didn't think you could throw a bigger party than you did last weekend, but here we are, bigger and better than ever."

"Go big or go home, right?" Billy asked cockily.

"Definitely." Aiden responded, half listening.

"Besides, they always say the bigger the better. Right, Ashley?" he winked at me, nudging me with my elbow.

"Don't waste your time," I tell him indifferently, scanning subconsciously for a known body. Thee known body.

"Wow, so you really do play for the other team then?"

My eyes lit up in rage, "I'm not gay!" I stormed off into the backyard where there was built a swing set. I don't know who lives here or why there's a swing set at a 25 year old's house but the idea of it kind of distburbs me.

I take a seat, gently swaying back and forth. I was designated driver this time, so I couldn't drink much, if any, "Didn't think you'd show."

I look up and automatically smile when I see the blonde strut over to me, "Aiden probably would pout for like eighty years if I didn't."

"That long, huh? That'd be terrible to watch somebody pout for that long."

"Especially Aiden. It gets kind of sad when he tries to pout."

She smiled and looked around the backyard but nobody was out here which was surprising considering it was July and it was sweltering inside, "I didn't tell Billy," she tells me, eyes still scanning the yard.

"I gathered that from the expression on your face."

"But, I told Coby. I'm sorry. He's my best friend. And I hadn't gotten laid in so long," she lamented.

I laughed, "Me either."

"Well, now you can say you have. Even if it wasn't with the right gender."

"I don't even remember it," I remind her pathetically. I feel bad.

"No big. It wasn't that special," she was totally serious.

"It wasn't?" I asked a little dejected. I don't know why that puts me off, it just does.

"Why would it be? A little thing like you? Straight as a board. I'm surprised it happened, even with the abnormally high levels of alcohol in your system."

I laughed nervously, "Yeah. It was for the experience, I guess. You know, so when I play that five finger game, I just have another thing that I can say I've done."

"Right," she said pointedly.

"So, totally gay, huh?" I asked overly curious.

"Completely."

"Not even just a little desire for men?" I ask baffled.

"Not at all. Been there. Done that. Doesn't appeal to me."

"But women do?"

She laughed playfully, "Fuck. Yes. They do."

My mind's swirling with a million thoughts that I can't even categorize and so many things I want to ask and so many things I want to say because truth be told, I've never really been friends with a lesbian before. Only gay men. "I can't believe you took advantage of me while I was drunk."

She put her hands up in defense, "I tried the best I could in my drunken state to stop you but I am only human and when a hot girl is throwing herself at me, who am I to say no?"

"You think I'm hot?" I question.

"Don't flatter yourself. I think a lot of women are hot."

"Oh."

"This party's really boring," she stated, even though it was kind of the opposite of boring but if you weren't drinking it wasn't any fun.

"Why aren't you drinking?"

"I don't know. Why am I not drinking?" she asked nobody in particular, probably curious herself, "Maybe I'm just tired of it. I feel like all I ever do is attend party after party, tying way too many back."

"I'm not much of a drinker," I shrug

"I guess somebody was really persuasive," she wiggled her eye brows in enjoyment of taunting me.

"I don't really remember why I even drank. I guess I realized it took less energy to just give in than it did to fight it."

Spencer laughed and let her head fall as we were turned, facing each other while talking. She'd taken a seat on the other swing a while back. Her teeth were like, really white. I mean, supreme white and luminscent. The light from the building kept bouncing off her smile and sparkling, blinding me in the most beauitful way.

"Oh my god are you two going to kiss again?" a guy yelled from the screen door, having just walked outside. I look over annoyed and see it's David. I glare at him and stomp off the swing. This is getting to be annoying.

Spencer sent him the biggest glare she could muster up and followed after me inside, shoving David on her way, "Ashley, wait, where are you going?"

"I don't know. This party's annoying," I lie, though not really because all parties are kind of annoying.

She put a gentle hand on my shoulder and as I stared at it angrily, she removed it, "Let's go somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know. A coffee shop. I'm kind of hungry," she half smiled.

"No tengo dinero," I pouted and her face twisted in confusion.

"Huh?"

"I don't have any money," I repeat.

"My treat. It's the least I could do, considering I got in your pants."

I rolled my eyes, "We have to come back, though. I'm Aiden's ride."

She smiled and laced her fingers with mine, dragging me to the door, "We'll come back for him, okay?"

At least somebody doesn't mind giving me reassurance because I always need it and if she was willing to always provide it, well I'd always take it.

~*~

"Ashley, you can slow down you know? Taste your food."

"I can taste it. It tastes delicious," I said with half of my sandwich in my mouth, "I luff sanwiches."

She smiled, a little disgusted by my bad eating habits and really, I don't blame her, "Swallow. Then talk."

"I haven't eaten today," I explain, after swallowing the bite of my sandwich.

"It's midnight. Nobody's eaten today, yet."

"No, I mean, yesterday, then. I didn't eat yesterday."

"That's really not healthy," she informed me as if she knew everything.

That just pissed me off, "Well, whatever. I do what I want."

She smiled cutely-scratch that. She smiled, "Okay, Cartman. Whatever you say," she drew out, emphasizing the whatever.

She paid for the check which I don't think was that much, fortunately because I get really uncomfortable when people other than Aiden pay for me. "Oh my god it's almost one and Aiden hasn't called yet!" I jumped up to leave, shaking the table, sending her cup of water all over her. Shirt and jeans.

She looked epicly pissed, "Ashley."

I looked anywhere but at her, "I'm sorry."

She stood up and began to walk to the car, "Ashley, come on."

We'd parked in the back of the parking lot, plus it was late and nobody was there and she had this big ass jeep that she opened the back of, finding something. "What are you doing?" I asked fearfully, thinking she was trying to find a bat to slam me on the head with.

"Changing," she explained as she quickly pulled her shirt off, reaching for a different top.

Even through the darkness you could see the red on my cheeks, which is hard to see considering I'm kind of tan, but the light in the parking lot illuminated my flush and she smirked confidently, "What's the matter little lady?"

"I uh, I'm just going to turn around."

"I'm wearing a bra, you know."

"A white bra. A white bra that also has water on it."

She smirked again, "It's not like you haven't seen these before."

My eyes bulged as I turned around, trying to make conversation about nothingness, willing the mental image that stayed firmly planted in my mind to leave and as it sounded like she was finished changing I turned around just as she was bending over into her trunk to find pants and her underwear were really low, "Oh jesus!" I yelled causing her to turn back around and my eyes dropped to the front view of what I just saw.

"What?"

"Uh…," I lost my words as I couldn't remove my eyes.

"You've seen that before too."

"Uh…"

She stepped closer to me, "Does this make you uncomfortable?"

My breath hitched, "I just don't like when people invade my personal space."

She rolled her eyes, "Suit yourself," and she pulled on sweatpants.

"I will," I crossed my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"Thanks for getting me all wet by the way," she reminded, irritated.

"I'm sure that wasn't the first time," I shot back, extremely impressed with my quick witted remark.

She cocked an eye brow, "Naughty. I like it," she purred and walked over to the drivers side, "Are you just going to stand there all day?" she yelled out at me and for some reason I couldn't get my legs to move.


	4. Let Your Love Grow Tall

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Reviews make me happy :) I've been updating so freely because I've had two weeks of spring break which has just been amazing and I know I won't be able to update as often once school starts next week sooo just that I'd let you all know. Sorry if there are a few typos, I tried to review it the best I could but sometimes I miss some. Anyways, here ya go! :)**

Spencer swerved her jeep into Billy's driveway dramatically, as it came to a screeching halt. Okay, not really, but it's more fun to imagine that it happened that way. We got back to the house around 1 and the place looked like a hurricane came through it. I guess I've never stayed at a party long enough to see the end. It ended kind of early though. Maybe it got rolled, although Billy's 25 so I don't see what could happen except for neighbors complaining about noise. He does live across from an old couple.

I stormed inside on a mission to find Aiden and as I entered the living room I saw him laying on the floor, mouth agape, a drool puddle forming near the corner of his mouth, arms outstretched, palms flat facing up, jeans at his ankles. Fortunately for me he was stll wearing his boxers and thank the gods for watching down upon me to be nice enough to keep them on. "Jesus christ, Aiden," I mumble, kneeling down checking him out. I put a hand to his neck, verifying that he was indeed alive and just passed out.

"Wow. Somebody got hammered," Spencer mused, making me jump. She scared me. I turned around to see her standing behind me, smirking at the drunken boy laying passed out next to me.

"It's not funny, Spencer."

"I think it is," she grinned, evil flickering through her eyes. God, she was wicked. She was kind of a bitch.

"Well, I don't and if you do you can just walk away, okay? I don't need your ass hole energy right now," I quipped back. Aiden passed out makes me nervous. He's never passed out before. He usually controls his liquor pretty well. I just wasn't in the mood for Spencer's...Spencer-ness.

"Hey uh...I'm sorry I just...here, let him spend the night. There's no use in trying to get him home now. Billy's got a guest bedroom."

"I guess you've got a point."

Spencer helped me drag Aiden to the guest bedroom and we plopped him down on the bed as he continued to snore away, not awoken by his location change.

"Fuck, he's heavy," Spencer rubbed her shoulders as if they hurt.

"He wasn't that heavy."

"Maybe I slept on my shoulder then and it just exaserbated it," she pondered thoughtlessly, if that's even possible, though for Spencer it probably is.

"I took massage classes for a year a few years back," I stated. I don't know what I was throwing out there, but it just seemed to fit the conversation.

"Are you offering to give me a massage?" she asked surprised.

"I don't know."

"Are you going home, or what?"

"Can I stay? I don't want to leave Aiden."

"Yeah, sure the couch pulls out into a bed," she responded, clearly exhausted, walking over to the couch and pulling it out into a bed.

"Where is Billy? I feel bad staying without asking him," I stood awkwardly as she continued to make up my bed.

"He's probably passed out. Billy doesn't care," she looked up at me, her eyes a bit blood shot, "Well, your bed awaits," she smiled softly.

"Are you going to stay?" I asked her as I continued to stand uncomfortably, preparing to sleep in the house of a guy I hardly knew and didn't even really care for.

"I wasn't planning on it…" she replied awkwardly.

"Oh. Okay," I replied back even more awkward, slowly meandering towards the bed.

"Have a good sleep, Ashley," she said to me as I laid down on the bed and sank into the springs

"Spence...er...you look exhausted."

"Long day. No big," she assured me smiling weakly.

God I could not get comfy in this thing and as Spencer walked to the door I tried to find some comfort in this bed but every few minutes I had to turn and I'd almost get rocket launched from one side of the bed to other and it was like riding a roller coaster to sleep.

I heard a laugh as familiar footsteps made their way back towards me, "I could hear those springs from outside the door," she chuckled.

"This bed is ridiculous."

"Why do you think I took us to the guest bed where Aiden is sleeping?" she asked nonchalantly, but as I stiffened up, I think she quickly learned that the subject of our drunken night made me uncomfortable, "God, Ashley," she sighed as she kneeled down to sit on the bed and began to lay down.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a bit frightened.

"Making pancakes. What else?"

"I want pancakes!"

"Ashley, you just ate."

"I can always eat."

She laughed, "I see."

"I meant like food like I have a big appetite and like I don't know I just like food because the flavor just excites me but like in the way that makes me want to create-"

Spencer cut me off by putting her hand over my mouth, "Let's sleep, okay rambles?"

I nodded my head and gently put it down against the pillow, "Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Everything."

I could feel her nod her head in a no problem kind of way, "No rolling around. I need this sleep."

~*~

I felt my body being jolted out of sleep as I sleepily opened my eyes and looked up to see a groggy Aiden holding his head and looking down at me. "What?" I asked, irritated that he woke me up.

I could see his eyes scanning what lay below him. Me on a bed with Spencer beside me and I could tell the cogs in his sleepy brain were turning trying to put the situation together. "Did you guys sleep together again?" he asked, his voice scratchy.

"Yeah. We had sex. With clothes on," I joked.

"I've actually done that before," a sleepy Spencer said as she turned over to look up at Aiden, eyes squinted at the light.

"Not helping," I growled at her, "Aiden, we didn't have sex. I didn't even drink anything. You on the other hand, got smashed."

He scratched his head, "I know. But at least I didn't have sex with anyone."

"You sure about that?" I asked.

"Yeah, I mean your pants were down at your ankles," Spencer added.

"I know. I had to pee but I never put my pants back up," he explained, "I do actually remember last night."

"But, you passed out," Spencer added.

"I still remember," he fired back at her. Okay, Aiden did not seem to like my new friend. Note to self: remember to ask him about this later, "Anyway, Ash, I wanna go home. Shower. Eat. You know."

"Yep! Getting up," I stretched as I slowly sat up, "Today's Sunday, right?"

"Good job Ashley," Spencer chirped.

I gave her my best pissed off expression which I couldn't seem to hold, "Your attitude is not warranted."

"I think it is," she smiled. Fuck. Her.

"Okay, well, if you see Billy which I assume you will, tell him thanks for letting me stay and throwing the party."

"So you are leaving?" Spencer asked, snapping out of her daze as she sat up rather quickly.

"Yeah. I need to eat and just get home."

"Oh. Yeah. I should do that too."

"Do you live near here?" I asked her casually.

"Robertson. Up a ways. Right up off Sunset."

"Wow. Well you are just smack in the middle of WeHo."

"Gotta put myself in the gay area. How else am I going to meet all these hot girls to have sex with?" she asked jokingly but somehow I knew she was kind of serious and somehow I kind of realized that that must have been what Spencer was all about. Just a good time girl.

"Of course. Well, I guess I'll see you around sometime. Same house, different party."

"I assume it's Aiden's turn to be dd next time?" she asked eyeing the hung over boy who was scanning the house and surveying last nights damage.

I look over at him and he nodds slowly, thankful for that, "Yep," I tell her, not too enthused.

"Well hopefully we can have a good drunken night next time. Without ending in sex," she replied with an amused expression.

"Yeah, there will definitely be no sex next time."

"Let's go!" Aiden moaned irritated, "I want to shower and eat!"

"God, okay. Jesus. Bye Spencer."

We headed for the door when her voice ricocheted through my ears, "You can text me sometime you know. I mean...if you want. That's what phone numbers are for."

I smiled without looking at her, "Okay, Spencer."

~*~

It was nearing August which saddened me because I started school in late August and though I had most of August off, it still meant thinking about school, getting back into the swing of things and that didn't sound fun. I hated Tuesdays. They always bored me. Aiden was at work and I didn't really know how many times I could go shopping to visit him without his boss getting mad at me and Julian was in Cabo. Lucky bitch. I called Olivia several times but I coninuously got no answer which fueled my irritation

I decided to check out West Hollywood. I'd never really been in the area much and considering I'd lived in LA for two years now, you'd think one would know the area a little better. As I wandered up the streets seeing various gay men in that same uniform they all seemed to wear, a tight v neck and tight jeans with the classic faux hawk, I kind of grew bored. I don't know what I was expecting to find here. Maybe more lesbians. More Spencers. All I knew is that it was too fucking hot to be walking on the streets of LA so I decided to grab an ice tea and head back home.

As I walked into Coffee Bean slash Tea leaf, I wondered why it had two names but quickly brushed it off as I ordered, "Ice tea."

"What kind?" the girl asked me in a geuinly nice tone.

"Uh, whatever your best herbal tea is."

"We have a list of teas right there," she pointed to the placard with teas.

"No. You choose. I like surprises."

"Okay," she beamed, "Makes my job a little more interesting."

I payed for my drink and as I turned around to the counter to grab a straw ahead of time I saw the back of a blonde that I knew had to be the blonde I knew. I jumped in surprise, but after I realized she couldn't see me, obviously, I stood awkwardly, not knowing whether I should say hi or just leave. I always felt weird running into people I knew in public.

I went to grab my ice tea and I lingered a bit, I'll admit because I was really curious who the brunette was that she was sitting with. She was cute. I guess. I mean, a pretty girl, no doubt about it, but she didn't hold a candle to Spencer. My phone went off loudly, embarrassingly and as everyone turned around so did Spencer, more than a little surprised and my cheeks probably turned red as I answered my phone, staring at Spencer. "Hello?"

"I don't understand why you always answer in a questioning tone when we have caller ID these days," Olivia poked.

"I uh...was a little...distracted," I replied sheepishly.

"Hm. So what's up bitch?" she asked like calling me bitch was the most normal greeting you could call someone. For Oliva, it was.

"I'm bored," I sighed.

"Aw, pobrecita."

"Shut up. What are you doing?" I asked, taking a sip of my tea, staring at Spencer who'd gone back to her conversation where the brunette was glaring at me for some unknown reason.

"I'm hanging out with Jerry," she cooed. Jerry was her meat head boyfriend. Typical jock. Total ass.

"Sounds awesome," I replied, not really paying attention.

"Ashy, we can hang out afterwards. Jerry has soccer practice anyway," and I could hear the smile through her voice. It made me happy.

"Sounds good."

"Okay, I'll text you once I'm home."

"Okay then."

"Bye Ashy!" click.

"Aye," I let out, a little too loudly, causing Spencer to turn back around raising a very curious eye brow at me.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I mouthed the word nothing.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me as if she owned this place. What a bitch.

"Getting an ice tea. What does it look like?"

"Gabbing."

"My friend called me back. I was just stopping in to get an ice tea."

She shook her head, "I didn't mean here here I meant here as in West Hollywood."

"What? Do you own West Hollywood now too? Last time I checked not just gays came here."

"I know that, but last time I checked you didn't really come here."

"How do you know?"

"Just a vibe I got. I guess I didn't check," she shrugged and sipped her .

"Well I uh, I do," I replied firmly, hoping if I replied strongly enough, she'd buy it.

She squinted her eyes at me, "You're full of shit. What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd check out the area. I figured I'd lived here for two years and didn't know it well. Might as well see all parts of LA. Gay and all."

She laughed and turned around to face her...friend? "Eliza this is my friend Ashley. Ashley, Eliza. There."

Eliza so didn't like me. "Girlfriend?" I asked curiously.

Spencer laughed, "Right." That didn't make Eliza happy.

"Then what are we?" she fired back at Spencer who's eye bulged out of their sockets as she quickly turned back to the girl.

"Friends?"

"Friends that have sex a lot?" she asked curiously, and surprisingly calm.

"With benefits?" Spencer asked hopefully.

"I thought you hadn't gotten laid in a while," I asked.

"I met her the day after the party," she explained vaguely.

"Oh." What else was there to say? Just, oh.

"Life's gotta live. Girls' gotta fuck," Spencer shrugged again like she couldn't help it.

"Cool," I replied indifferently, "Nice meeting you Eliza," I smiled and waved as I walked out. Cue footsteps behind me.

"Ashley," Spencer said in a level voice.

I turned around in a faux pleasantly surprised tone, "Hm?"

"Uh," she smiled, "I don't even know why this girl thinks we should be something. I've known her for a week," she laughed watching as a car quickly drove by.

"It sucks when one person has the wrong idea of what you are," it's true. I had this guy once who swore I was his girlfriend. We had one drunken kiss. Creeper.

Her head fell back as she laughed comfortably, "Story of my life."

"Uh huh. Well, anyway, shouldn't you be getting back to Amy."

"Eliza."

"Whatever. Same thing," I don't know why I all the sudden felt like being a bitch. Maybe because I just felt like acting the way Spencer always acted.

"Uhm…," her thought trailed off into the air and I was getting bored just standing there.

"Well this is fun. I'm going to go now."

"Wait. Uhm. Want to hang out?" she asked, her face reflecting that she regretted it the minute the invite left her mouth.

"Like, now?"

"Well, I wasn't really referring to now but if now's good for you then I mean yeah, sure."

"I don't think Jenny likes me very much," I laughed easily.

She rolled her eyes at the incorrect name, "She needs to go home anyway."

"Well, I'm hanging out with my friend Oliva soon so maybe another time."

"You're really bad at texting people," she told me with a hint of irritation.

"Most people would take that as a sign that the person doesn't want to hang out with you," I said kind of rudely.

She looked surprised at my bluntness, "Well, I'm not most people. And considering we keep running into each other I'm going to take that as a sign that something says we should be friends."

"You are too much Miss Carlin."

She smiled, "Just the right dosage," and winked as she went to go back inside.


	5. Conscious Struggle

**A/N: So, yeah, I know Ashley's kind of being a bitch but it's difficult when you're feeling feelings you don't want to feel and you don't really know how to handle them. Haven't you ever liked somebody you didn't want to like? It just upsets you sometimes and that's what she's going through. She gets better though, I promise :) Thanks for the reviews. Keep them comin'.**

"God, can you guys believe it's already August 5th?" Julian, asked, slightly reminiscing on the summer we've had already.

"Fuck," Aiden let out pissed off, arms giving, collapsing back onto his towel.

"Why did you have to remind me?" I asked pulling my sunglasses off to glare at Julian.

He gave me this don't fuck with me expression with his perfectly faux hawked hair, even at the beach. I tried to get him to go in the water but he would have none of that.

"Water time!" Oliva yelled excitedly and jumped up, clearly having enough of the depressing energy, "It's only beginning of August. We have time."

I jumped up with Oliva and stared down at Aiden who's eyes were closed, "You coming bean head?"

He squinted his eyes open and looked at me in a daze, "No thanks. I'm gonna get a tan."

"God, Aiden you're so gay!" Chelsea yelled, getting up from her towel, "I'm in!" Chelsea grabbed Dereck's hand and yanked him up, "Baby lets go."

He groaned and slowly got up. Chelsea's boyfriend is so whipped, "Ey Olivia where's Jerry?" he asked looking around as if to find him. Dereck wasn't the smartest guy out there but he was nice. A hell of a lot nicer, actually.

I've always been a fan of just getting in there so I grabbed Olivia's hand and began to run, "Let's go!" I jumped in and she fell in after me ontop of me and it was kind of funny so we began to laugh. Really, this would be one of those moments that'd be engrained into my memory bank forever but I'm not going to get all sentimental.

Dereck let out a series of inaudible noises and fell into the ocean, "Ah! This feels so good."

Chelsea stood at the shore nervously, dipping her foot in the ocean, "It's chilly," she said meekly. She was such a girl.

Olivia and I made our way closer to the shore and began to power splash her and she began to girl scream which only made us splash harder, "Dereck come help us! Get your girl in the water!" Oliva screeched out excitedly.

Chelsea gave her most innocent glare towards him and he put his hands up in defense, "If I ever plan on havng sex again I think I'll stay here."

I cringed inwardly pushing the mental image to leave my brain and swam walked back to the deeper ocean and fell back into the water.

"Wave!" Dereck yelled and we all prepared our positions.

As I turned around, I saw this big surge of water aiming right at my head and as I realized I hadn't prepared for the wave as well as I thought I did, I was hit and mixed into a tumble of water. It felt like I was under water for a year but it was probably ten seconds at the most. When it all stopped I couldn't help but cough like crazy. I was like the dead body washed up to shore and I just layed there at the shore, feeling the water that kept rushing up and backing away against my legs and back.

"Ashley?" is that an angel?

"Ashley is that you?" the voice got closer as her face appeared above me.

I coughed again, spitting water in her face accidentally, "Are you stalking me?" I asked her scratchily.

She laughed and looked around for some help and then looked back at me sympathetically, "We've got to stop running into each other."

This felt like a dream sequence where the edges of my vision were all blurry because of the water and it was hazy because I was tired and then there was Spencer, who I guess had put her hand on my cheek but I didn't realize it, "You're stalking me," I joked.

She rolled her eyes, "That's it. You've caught me. I'm stalking you. I just can't get enough of you."

"Oh my, Ash!" that was Olivia's peaked concerned coming closer. She kneeled down beside Spencer, "Question. Who are you?" Olivia asked, worry and confusion in her tone as she faced Spencer.

"Spencer," she informed her looking back down at me, "Ashley can you get up?"

"Oh, so you're Spencer?" Oliva suddenly became less worried and wiggled her eye brows as she looked at me and then back at Spencer.

I coughed, "Really, Olivia. Right now?"

"It's about time somebody got in Ashys pants," Olivia smiled at Spencer who clearly looked uncomfortable.

"Yeah, uh let's get Ashley up."

They pulled me up and I was able to hobble back to my towel and lay down where Dereck and Chelsea stood worried, "You're okay!" Chelsea exclaimed overjoyed and took me into the biggest embrace ever, which made me cough more.

"Careful. Too much pressure to her abdomen's going to make her cough more. She needs to get the air going back through there," Spencer warned as her knit brows stared at me looking worried.

"Darling, get that worried expression off your face. It causes wrinkles," Julian informed Spencer. It may sound rude, but he means it in the nicest way.

"Sorry, the healing instinct is just in me. My mom's a doctor."

"I'm studying to be a doctor!" Aiden piped in excitedly.

"Oh really?" Spencer asked, not really caring, eyes still focused on me.

"Yeah. I go to UCLA."

"Nice," she let out, still lacking concern, "You okay, Ashley?"

I smiled. It was nice to see a different side of Spencer, "I think so."

"I mean, I love running into you and all but I'd rather it be in less life threatening circumstances," she cracked.

"Of course," I could see her walls going back up.

"Then again, I love saving hot babes on the beach. There's something so baywatch about it."

Dereck nodded in agreement and received a slap from Chelsea.

"Spencer! There you are! You just walked off and- Oh, hello?" the girl asked suddenly looking like she felt a little awkward.

"Jay, this is my friend Ashley. She was dying on the beach."

I don't think her friend liked me very much and I don't know why none of Spencer's "friends" liked me but it was starting to get irritating so I leveled her stare which made her snake her arm around Spencer's tanned hips. "Well, glad you could save her but I'm getting hungry so let's go babe."

"Whoa. Wait. Are you gay?" Dereck asked, enthralled by this.

"Gay as Elton himself," Spencer smiled proudly.

"Damn," and his eyes scanned her and he was probably turned on.

"Don't be a pig!" Chelsea slapped him again.

"Yeah, this is the girl Ashy slept with," Olivia laughed, amused at the situation and I could see Jay whats her name's grip on Spencer tighten a little.

"Oh hold up. You slept with a girl and didn't tell me?" Julian took off his sun glasses, pissed as all hell.

"Oh no, Ashley's blushing," Olivia continued to laugh.

"Anyway, Spencer and her friend need to get going. I'll see you around sometime, Spencer."

She looked at me with an expression I couldn't read, "Not ever going to text me, huh?"

I genuinly felt bad. I had meant to text her but I'd been so busy lately. Back to back to back I had plans and I don't know maybe I'm making excuses, "I will text you."

The corners of her mouth turned up, "Really?"

"We'll see," I smiled back.

"Spence, I need to go pee so I'll meet you at the car?" her friend could not take this situation.

Spencer nodded and looked back at me, "I'm going to head to my car. It was nice meeting all of of you. Aiden," she nodded, sensing he wasn't too fond of her, "I hope to see the rest of you sometime again. Bye Ashley."

She began walking to her car and I guess I decided to walk with her because I owed her, "Hey!"

Spencer turned around and looked at me running to catch up, laughing at my pathetic attempt to run in the sand but stopped to wait, "You look ridiculous."

"Sand running is hard," I panted as I reached her.

She shook her head, "What are you doing?"

"I figured I'd walk you to your car since you cared enough to come see if I was okay."

She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, "I see a half alive body on the beach and I feel like it's my personal obligation to see if the person's okay."

"You knew it was me."

"Maybe."

We continued to walk in silence. Comfortable silence.

"Well, there's your car," I love to state the obvious. It's what I do when I don't know what else to say.

"Yes it is. How informative of you, Ashley," she leaned against her car as I stood in front of her.

"Anyway, Billy's having a party this Friday night. Come. Bring your friends."

"Why are you friends with that ass hole?"

"I don't know. I'm friends with a lot of different types of people."

"Maybe we'll come."

She tried to stifle a laugh, "Yeah, hopefully you do come."

I gave her a glare of that's not funny, "Nobody's ever been good enough to make it happen," and I smile evily.

She coughed, surprised at my comment, "Uh, you sure about that?"

I waved my hand dismissing that part of the conversation, "Maybe I'll go to the party."

"I hope you do."

From behind us was a clearing of the throat and I turned to see Jay who glared at me, "Spence, you ready?"

She nodded and then opened her car door, "Well as much as I'd like to stay and chat, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Ashley."

~*~

To go to the party on Friday or not to go to the party. That is the question.

"I know you're debating on whether to go to the party," Aiden began, reading my thoughts, "I'm going."

"Is Olivia going?"

"Call her."

I hit speed dial number three on my phone and within two rings her perky little voice answered, "Yes?"

"Are you going to the party at Billy's?"

"Was I invited?" she asked busily. I could tell she was doing something really unimportant, like painting her toe nails.

"Psh. Of course!"

"Hm. When is it?"

"Friday."

"Ashley, that's in two days. That's not a lot of notice," so she's irritated. That's one of Olivia's pet peeves is not giving her enough notice.

I wince at her voice being so loud, "I'm sorry! Aye!"

"Okay, well I'm pretty sure I'll be able to go but I might bring Jerry."

I groaned, "Ew."

"You're going to have to like him eventually."

"No. I'm not. Aiden and I are going on Friday. Text me if you want to go. We can work out ride arrangements."

"Okay. Bye skeeze."

I hung up the phone and looked at Aiden, "So I don't know anymore than I did before I called her."

"Typical Olivia," he stated, playing with the ruffle on one of the blankets that rested on my bed.

I decided to lay back down on my bed, "It's hot."

"I know. And I'm bored," he blew air out of his mouth in a bored state.

I grabbed my phone off my night stand, shuffling through my contacts, seeing if there was anybody interesting and as I was about to set my phone back down on my bed I came across the one name I knew was definitely not uninteresting. Spencer :)

I sent her a text.

Hey you :)

I waited nervously for her to text me back and I began to fidget. Maybe I should have told her who I was in the text. What if she's one of those people who doesn't text the person back if they don't know who it is.

uh...im sorry for asking this but who is this?

Ashley. duh.

oh! hey ashley :)

I told you id text you eventually

took you long enough

I know. im sorry. so uh, you are going to billys on friday yeah?

uuuuuuuuh. I think so

Im gonna go.

then ill be there ;)

Haha silly. no sex!

darn! I was hoping id get lucky. :p

Not this time carlin

oh well. that's what jaylen's for

I set my phone down because of a noise coming from my floor. Aiden had fallen asleep and I laughed looking down at him.

Aiden fell asleep haha

draw on him!!!

Thats mean…

do itttttt!!!

Come over and help?

love to. address?

567 wilshire blvd. 90017 la, ca

be over soon :)

I leaned back and set my phone down on my night stand. Oh, Ashley, what are you doing?


	6. Come As You Are

I'm not sure what I was thinking, inviting Spencer over to my house. I looked down to see a slacked out Aiden and smiled briefly as panic came rushing back. Shit. Spencer's coming over. What was I thinking? Hanging out with Spencer. I thought about canceling but that'd be rude, plus the doorbell rang and after leaping off my bed and over Aiden to rush to the door, I worriedly looked back, to get a full view of him snoring. Thankfully it didn't disturb him.

I opened the door to view a smiling, casual Spencer, in comfortable shorts and a loose t shirt, "Hey," I smiled, standing there at my door assessing her.

"Hey back."

I opened my mouth to say something but words kept getting lost, probably somewhere near my esophogus, "You're looking casual."

"Was I supposed to dress up?"

I shook my head.

"Are you going to let me in?" she asked, peering behind me.

"Yep," I backed away from the door, allowing her to walk inside which she immediately scanned with her eyes.

"It's comfy," she let out while still looking around, "Definitely comfy."

"The bachelor pad of a college student." I led her to my room where Aiden was still sleeping, "And this would be my room."

"I presume this is where you be slappen dem bois."

I rolled my eyes at her ghetto humor, "All night errnight."

She laughed. I liked making her laugh. It was refreshing somehow, "I love your ghetto accent."

And her compliment made me smile which made her smile, "So as you can see, Aiden's clearly passed out...again."

"God, he just has blank canvas written all over him...or not written on him at all."

I walked over to my desk grabbing a red sharpie, "Draw away young one."

"Young one? I think I'm older than you."

"Oh really? And how ancient are you?"

"Only 21."

"Sweet. You can buy me booze."

"Not yet young one," she patted my head and kneeled down to Aiden and began to draw a circle around his eye.

"What are you drawing?"

"A monacle."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason to draw a monacle?"

"I guess not."

"Besides. Monacles are awesome. Haven't you ever wished you could wear one?"

"Not really," I shrugged.

"Well," she scoffed, "You're just not cool then," she turned back to Aiden and continued to draw.

"A mustache? Really? That's original," I teased.

"Whatever. It still looks ridiculous."

"Aiden can just grow a mustache and it looks twice as ridiculous."

"Only dicks grow mustaches," she joked, drawing a soul patch on him as well.

"I remember one time when Aiden tried to actually grow a soul patch."

She laughed genuinly, "That had to have looked ridiculous."

"I wouldn't know. He couldn't seem to grow one. The most he's ever really been able to grow is a slight beard and mustache, but not in the soul patch area."

"Hm. Well, this is boring. I'm done," she dropped the marker and stood up, "What's next?"

"Uh. Nothing?"

She walked closer to me, like majorly invading my space, "What's next?"

"Food?" I squeaked.

She smiled slyly but backed up, "Food sounds perfect."

I walked ahead of her to the kitchen to scour the cabinets and fridge but saw nothing edible, "No food."

"I'm sorry. What did you say? Caveman needs to use full sentences."

"We don't have anything to eat."

"Sure you do," she stated overly postive and searched our cabinets, "I'm a pretty good cook," she continued to talk to me while she was searching through the cabinets. After ten minutes of looking and double looking, Spencer slammed the fridge frustrated, "You really do have nothing to eat."

"I told you."

"Pizza?"

"Meh."

We ordered pizza which they said would take about 45 minutes and Spencer groaned and I whined but we got over it and walked over to the sofa and sat down, tediously waiting for my pizza. I mean...our pizza.

I fell onto the couch as Spencer fell ontop of me, causing me to scream fakely, "Too. Much. Weight."

"Shut up!" she slapped me.

I smiled at her because the seriousness she exhibited was kind of funny, "I'm joking."

She pushed her body off of me and moved to the other end of the couch that wasn't occupied by my body, "Sure you were."

"So what's your deal?" I asked her randomly.

"Huh?"

"Like. What do you do? Where do you go to school? What's going on with your life?"

"I...uh...I take some classes at UCLA."

"I've never seen you there," I muse.

"Yeah, I'm not there that much. I don't have much time."

"Well then Miss Carlin. What is taking up so much of your time?"

She bit her lip nervously, "Dancing."

To say I was surprised is an understatement, "You're a dancer?"

"Part time."

"What about the rest of the time?"

"Well...I just got back from Darfur."

My eyes bulged probably, "Whoa. Why?"

She smiled sheepishly, "Peace corps," and I think my eyes bulged even more, "I know it was a stupid whim and I was young and impressionable and I was 18 and I wanted to save the world and there was this girl and I don't know. I guess I realized one day that helping people was all good and well but I could never truly do anything if I didn't get my life back on the goal track."

"Wow that's-"

"You think I'm stupid huh?"

"Admirable, actually."

She looked relieved, "I can't begin to tell you how many girls I've met who are almost graduating from undergradate school and tell me I need to get a life plan and that I have to start thinking about my future."

"Fuck them."

"They're right, though. I mean, what am I doing? I'm 21 years old and I've got some college classes and a love for ballet."

"Well, maybe you should really take some time to sit down and think about what it is you'd like to do."

"Yeah. Some time. Except everytime I have the time the thought terrifies me so I do something else occupying instead."

I gave her a sympathetic smile because I really didn't know what else to say, "You'll be fine," and really that was the best I could come up with but she smiled all the same.

"What about you? UCLA. What are you doing there because you so don't scream doctor."

"Film," I smiled at my childlike dream to make it big even though it would probably never happen.

"Oh. That's really cool. I hope that works out for you."

"Ha. Yeah. Me too. If not, Aiden will support me on his doctor salary."

"If you ever see him," she said in kind of a pissed off tone which I got the vibe was from something deeper.

"Yeah. Doctoring is a busy job."

"You're telling me."

"So, what's the girl of the week this time?" I changed the subject.

She looked like she had to genuinly think about it, "Shit. I forgot her name again. Fuck. I'm so bad with names. Whatever. I just won't call her."

"Not into commitment?"

"Commitment's just not into me."

"Why?"

"The only people I ever see commitment with are the ones who don't want me. It's kind of a sick, twisted, fucked up system I live in."

"Do explain."

"The ones that want me are never good enough. The ones I want...well I guess I'm never exactly what they want."

"Who wouldn't want you?" I asked a little too quickly. That kind of slipped out and she raised a curious eye brow at me.

"A lot of people?"

"You're gorgeous. I bet the lesbians just eat you up," I paused realizing my double meaning, "In both ways."

"The lesbians."

"Well I'm sure there are plenty of amazing girl loving girls."

"We'll see. I haven't been back that long yet," she kind of said softly but then her tone changed, "What about you? Boyfriend?" she asked more energetically.

"Nope. Still single."

"Good jesus. Why?"

"Same reason you are."

"All the good men are...gay?"

I laughed at her bizarre comparison, "I guess."

"Seriously though."

"I don't know, Spencer. I just haven't found anybody worth my time, yet, I guess."

"Worth your time. I see."

"I guess I just believe that when I see it, I'll just know, and when the force is so strong that there's nothing I can do but to give in, then that'll be it."

"That's going to have to be some force then."

"I'm picky."

"And Aiden…?" I could see where that question was going.

"Ew."

"Why not? He's...an attractive guy."

"Sure he's attractive but I just don't feel anything," I tried to convey how I felt through our conversation and I think she got it. Without saying much, I think she felt my feelings.

The doorbell rang and I walked to the door, grabbed the pizza and as I was about to pay Spencer handed the guy money.

"Spencer, I invited you over. I got this."

"I insist. It's the least I could do for you having me over."

"You paid last time," I pressed.

I think the pizza man was getting uncomfortable which didn't go unbeknownst to Spencer who quickly turned the man and with rushed out speech said, "Here's the money. Keep the change. Have a nice day," and slammed the door.

"I would have paid."

"Well, I already did. Let's just drop it."

It bothered me when she paid but I tried to just not let it, "I didn't realize how hungry I was," I spoke through a mouthful of sauce and cheese and other things.

Again, Spencer winced at my bad eating habits but didn't make any movements to leave. Not forgetting our converstion pre door bell, she ventured back to it, "So did you and Aiden ever date?"

"Briefly. In high school."

"You guys went to high school together?"

"Yeah. We're both from San Diego."

She nodded in understanding, "And what happened when you guys dated?"

"It was just awkward. And weird. And it was like trying to jam the wrong piece in a puzzle."

She nodded knowingly, "I getcha."

"It was like...no. Aiden's my best friend. It's like dating your brother."

She nodded some more, "Of course," but I started to get the feeling she was nodding just to appease me.

"So yeah, that's the Aiden and me history."

"What about any other guys?" she delved. She was seriously prodding. It was getting a little annoying but I went with it.

"I've only been in two other relationships."

"Tell me about em'," she responded casually while taking a bite of her piece of pizza

"James. Went out for about 4 months. He cheated on me."

Her interest was piqued, "Who would cheat on you?"

"I wouldn't have sex with him."

She fell back a little in realization, "Oh. Makes sense."

"Uh. No. Does not make sense. 4 months isn't long enough to date to where I'll have sex."

"What were you waiting for, Ashley? The solar eclipse?"

I felt uncomfortable discussing this, "I was so in the mood for pizza. I'm actually really glad there was nothing else in the house."

"What about the other guy?"

"Let's just drop it."

"I just want to know. Friends share with friends."

I searched her eyes for an answer that I wasn't seeming to get but I went with it, "Adam. We dated for almost a year."

"Shit. Why did you guys break up?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Did you guys bone?"

"A few times."

"A few times out of an entire year?"

"Initiating sexual interaction makes me uncomfortable," I tried to explain but she shook her head and laughed.

"Oh my. Ashley Ashley Ashley."

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"You're a pistol all right," she smiled.


	7. Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced

"Billy's party's tonight," Spencer started, not turning her head from it's straight up view of the sky.

"I can't decide whether I'm going to go."

She sat up and took her sunglasses off, looking down at me, "You said you were going to go."

"I know, but I don't really like parties."

"You have to go," she forced.

"Why?"

"Because! Who else am I going to hang out with?"

"Who did you hang out with before you met me?"

She stopped and actually thought, "I don't know. I was usually too trashed to remember."

"What about before you were drunk?"

"I don't know. I used to get knocked out pretty fast."

"Can't you do that again?" I asked, kind of tired of this conversation. Parties just weren't my thing. Alcohol just wasn't my thing.

She leaned down closer to me, putting both of her hands on my bare shoulders, "Please go."

I think I let out an uncontrolled smile while my brain spoke for me, using my mouth to say the words, "Okay, I'll go."

She jumped up excitedly doing her happy dance, kicking sand everywhere, "We will be victoriousss!" and I think she even fist pumped...like a champ.

I laughed at her antics, "You look like a dork."

I'd become used to Spencer. Ever since she came over to my house on Tuesday, it was like there was no going back. I couldn't help it. She was here and I wanted her to be my friend.

"Get up stinky butt! We have a party to get sexy for."

I sat up but didn't completely get up, "What time is it?"

She looked around for a sun dial but there wasn't one in site so she bent down to her bag, grabbing her phone, "5:13. Party starts at 8."

"Can't we be fasionably late?"

"I like to get there a little early, since Billy is my friend and all."

Begrudgingly I got up, grabbing my bag and my towel and we headed to Spencer's car, "So...Aiden driving you?" she asked me as she started the car, leaving the beach parking lot.

"Yeah, I think so. We always carpool."

She nodded her head signaling she heard, not removing her eyes from the road, "Well, if you want, I can give you a ride to the parties sometime."

"Yeah, but don't you usually spend the night?"

"Only when I drink."

"Which is usually, right?"

She laughed because I cornered her into a wall, "Okay, yeah. But you could stay over too."

"Why Miss Carlin? Are you trying to get me in bed for the second time?"

She thoroughly laughed this time, "Not unless you want me to," and I could hear the playfulness in her voice, even though I couldn't see her face.

I began to text Aiden while Spencer drove me home.

Billys tonight?

yeahhhh fersurrrre =)

Your dd yeah?

haha I guess so.

Sounds good bro.

hey, olivias gonna go okay?

And jerry?

nah. she said he has some soccer tourni. thats why shes going.

Okay cool. see you tonight.

"Aiden's taking me," I informed her as I could tell we were nearing my place.

"Well then I guess I'll just see you there?" she didn't really have to ask, but I knew it was kind of an insecurity of hers. I could just tell.

"Yep. Olivia's going."

She smiled, "She seemed sweet."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"No! I'm serious. She seemed like a sweet girl. A bit odd, but sweet."

"She is. She's an aquired taste, but eh, you get used to her."

"I'm sure," she replied genuinly, "And here your suite awaits, madame."

She pulled up to a topless Aiden in the driveway washing his truck and she honked, making him jump and then blush as he turned around, "See you tonight!" I jumped out of her car and watched her drive off and then focused my attention back on Aiden, "Washing your car? Now?"

"Some girl said my car was filthy last time I drove. I did not need that."

"How can she tell? It was night time and you drive a black car."

He shrugged, "Women."

I slapped him and walked in the house, frantically getting ready for tonight. I washed my hair twice because I swear it makes it softer and I added Chi because it makes my hair softer and smell really good. I picked an outfit that said I'm sexy but I'm not trying...too hard and was ready approxamately around eight. I walked into Aiden's room to see him staring at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair, "You're such a gay man, Aiden."

"I think I'm metrosexual."

"Is metrosexual another term for being gay and not admitting it?"

He fixed me a pretty stern glare and I smiled because it was fun to tease Aiden. He was probably one of the straightest guys I knew but it was fun to joke about, "Let's go, Aid."

"My hair's pissing me off."

"What's to piss you off? You hardly have any hair."

"It's too long. So it sticks out. It needs to be cut."

"Maybe we can go get your hair cut tomorrow," I called back at him as I began to walk to the door.

"Yeah. Let's do that," he seemed 10x happier as he followed me to the door.

~*~

We got to the party at like...8:20, 8:30 at the latest and it was already cranking. I couldn't hear my own thoughts and I couldn't really see any one individual as they all kind of meshed together. And I was sober. This had to be, by far, Billy's biggest party, thus far.

Aiden split almost immediately and Oliva began to bob her head, already feeling in party mody and me...well I was looking for my familiar blonde. Olivia dragged my hand and led me with her, "Let's check the outside scene."

"I doubt anything will be going on out there. There never is."

As we stopped outside, it looked like beer pong had taken on a tournament style. There were multiple tables and multiple cups and plenty of empty coors light cans. Ew.

"In. Your. Face!" some slobbery guy yelled across the table to a couple of other guys who looked like they were going to fall over, "We be the champs!" he high-fived his partner, "Who's next!"

"We are!" Olivia yelled excitedly, continuing to drag me.

The louder guy gave us one look and laughed, "You're going to get your asses kicked."

"Well. We'll just see about that!" Olivia tried to sound tough but she wasn't that menacing and even I kind of laughed.

3 minutes into the game and they only had 3 cups down, meanwhile we had 2 left and it was increasingly difficult as Olivia and I kept swaying from side to side. Two light weights did not do well together.

The big crony, who I learned's name was Joe just shot it but missed, then the other one, Hank shot and also missed. And pretty soon it was one cup to one cup and I'm not sure how that happened but it did and as I held that ping pong ball in my hand, and squinted at the one, last red cup standing, my body was having trouble keeping balance and Joe and Hank kept yelling slanderous remarks my way, trying to get me to miss when Oliva's voice jumped up from behind me and rang too loud in my ear.

"You got this champ!" she sounded toasted and I began to wonder how much beer was in each cup because it seemed like a full beer can, which was kind of odd since usually when I played they only poured part of the can. I guess Joe and Hank go all out.

I turned around to look at her through squinty eyes and smiled, "Okay."

As I wobbled more, I flicked my wrist and the only reason I know we won was because of the splash I heard and the sound of Joe cussing at 30 mph. A bunch of guys crowded around Oliva and me or maybe it didn't happen that way but it felt like that and I smiled not really knowing what was going on, "Thank you….everybody!"

I stumbled out of the group and meandered back inside and into the kitchen where once again I saw David, "Ey Ashley!"

I turned my head to look at him and noticed he sat at a table with a couple other guys and a girl and a bunch of shot glasses, "Jager bombs?"

I nodded and sat in the empty chair that David patted, "On three," he called out, "One. Two. Three!" we all knocked it back and the next one and the next one and the next one and 6 jager bombs later, until there were no more jager bombs and I began to pout. Drunk me pouts.

I looked around the kitchen for a blonde head but I didn't see it so I got out my phone and began to text the blonde.

SPENcerrr. where are youuuuu!

I laughed at myself, putting my phone away, "More shots!" I yelled, excitedly.

I think David was pouring shots of Tequila, which freaked me out and sent me walking out of the kitchen, "Ashley you didn't have your tequila shot!" he called out at me but I was already outside, scanning the patio for Oliva who was sitting back on a chair, redder than a baboons ass in mating season. My little Irish.

"Olivia!" she looked up surprised.

"Ashy? I've been waiting for you. I won two more games, but I want to do one more with you."

I nodded in agreement, setting up table on our side as the two guys set up on their side, "Let's do this livs," I told her through my drunken state.

"Ashley, is that you?" Spencer asked and I turned around quickly, stumbling on the cobble stone part of the patio. She looked buzzed. But not drunk.

"Yes! I'm playing beer pong!" I turned back around and aimed to shoot and missed. Olivia pushed me at my poor shot but when she shot she missed as well.

Both guys laughed and both of them sank theirs and as we'd sunk none, they'd sunk all of ours. My body really began to sway as I walked over to the guys, "Good game," and I smiled.

One of them eyed me up and down, "Hey want to join me upstairs. I want to show you my uh...tattoo."

I felt an arm around me, "She doesn't want to suck your dick you perve," Spencer growled as she dragged me away.

"Spencey what are you doing? He was going to show me his tattoo. I love tattoos!"

She looked at me in disbelief but kind of laughed, "Let's get you laying down. You've had enough to drink."

"Wait hang on!" I ran into the kitchen to find David sitting sleepily with his head on the table, "David I want my shot!"

He lifted a shot glass full of tequila and I downed it, my eyes watering from the taste, "Okay Spencer."

"Did you just down another fucking shot?" she asked, clearly irritated. Even drunk me could tell she was irritated with my choices.

"It's a party Spencer what do you expect!"

She shook her head, closing the guest bedroom door and laying me gently on the bed, "Lay down, babe."

And as I layed there and the room was spinning and thoughts weren't connecting my stomach began to churn and I felt contents that were once nuzzled deep in my stomach making a path up my esophogus, "Oh no! Oh no!" I jumped up and ran for the bathroom that was thankfully inside the guest bedroom.

All my insides were in the toilet and at one point, I thought, if I die, Billy's going down for throwing such amazing parties. Mid throwing up, I felt hands grab my hair pulling it back, one hand caressing my cheek, "It's okay, Ash."

I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped my mouth, and turned to look up at Spencer, "You called me Ash."

She smiled, "Ashley takes too much time to say everytime."

About an hour later or I don't know how long because time kind of blurred together, I threw up all there was to throw up and Spencer layed me back down on the bed, "Spencerrrr?"

"What?"

"You're super pretty."

She rolled her eyes, "Thanks."

"No, I mean it. Like you're really hot."

She rolled her eyes again, "Ashley, shut up."

"Why?"

"You're drunk."

"Drunk words are sober thoughtsss," I sang.

"Well, thanks for the compliment then, but I could never be as beautiful as you are."

I had a lop sided smile and sleepy eyes, "You're way more beautifuler."

She shook her head in an amused way, "Go to sleep, Ash."

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm tipsy."

"Why aren't you drunk?" I asked thoroughly curious.

"Because I knew you would be," she answered honestly.

"So?"

"So...somebody has to take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

She laughed, loudly too, "Clearly you can't. At least, not when you're drunk."

"Spencey, I'm sleepy."

"Go to sleep."

"Don't leave."

"I won't," and I could feel her lay down next to me and before I knew it, I was asleep.


	8. Hooligans

**A/N: So I realized the things I was using to break apart the sections weren't showing up and that makes the whole story kind of weird which is why you probably got an alert that all 8 chapters were put up again because I was trying to fix it. So didn't work...haha annoying. I guess I'll have to figure out a new way of breaking up the parts in a chapter. Sorry for the later realization. :/**

Have you ever been sleeping or had your eyes closed and you just felt like something was trying to pry them open? Like, not literally but they just kept slowly opening and you weren't sure why? Right now its exactly 3:38am and I can't sleep because my eyes keep opening and the room is so dark that I can't see my body but my tongue is really dry and and I'm thirsty and my throat is kind of scratchy. There's a figure laying next to me and I know for a fact this time that it is Spencer and I also know for a fact we did not have sex.

I turned my head and after I blinked several times my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw Spencer deeply sleeping with her arm resting on her stomach on her skin where her shirt was raised up to around where her bra starts, "Spencer?" I asked really quietly because I'm almost hoping my words don't wake her. She doesn't move.

Slowly, I pulled my body up and walked towards the door, being really cognizant of any noise I might make and tip toed out into the living room to find remnants of anything. It wasn't as dark in the living room and really it kind of looked like it did when I last left it. There were a couple puddles on the wooden floor of booze that had been spilled and some plastic coups strewn about, and an empty couch with too many stains on it for my liking. I walked over to the sliding glass door to see empty tables and empty cans of Coors scattered among the grass and pavement but not a soul.

The whole thing was like a fucking ghost town. I meandered into the kitchen and to my surprise I found no David and no anybody and the only thing I saw were scattered shot glasses on the kitchen table with an empty bottle of Jager and two-thirds empty bottle of Cuervos. I found a bag of ruffles sitting on the counter and grabbed them as I sat on one of the chairs at the table, munching away.

"Eating all my chips?" I hated that voice but I kind of smiled as I turned around to face the heavy guy who threw the amazing parties.

I lifted the bag in offer to him, "Want some?"

He waved his hand as if to say not a single chip, "I'm good, but thanks," he just eyed me. I couldn't tell what kind of expression read on his face and I think that he could have bouts of seriousness if he wanted, but I'm sure I'd never know.

He shuffled over to me in his exhaustion and leaned against the kitchen door frame, "Spencer took good care of you."

And I couldn't tell what emotion was burrowed within that statement. Irritation, pleasant surprise, relief, disappointement (why that'd be there I don't know...it's Billy), adoration, ridicule, "I guess she did didn't she?"

"That's not something you guess at. She did. No question."

"She's a good friend."

"She cares about you, you know?"

"I'd hope so. I like my friends to care about me," I didn't look up at him, exploring the ruffles bag for the crumbs.

"I've known Spencer for years…," he began and oh shit this sounds like a long fucking speech that I have no sense for at almost 4am. He yawned, "Long time. She grew up here, as did I. We went to the school down the street. She almost won Prom Queen, I think she was short like 8 votes."

"What is the point of this?" I winced at my own irritation. He did throw kick ass parties.

"I'm saying I know her a lot better than she thinks I do. A lot better than most people think I do and what I'm saying is I've never seen Spencer look at anybody the way that girl looks at you."

I rested my head on the table, the weight of this conversation too heavy to really hold my head up at any decent level, "I can't help it if I'm not gay, Billy."

He shook his head in disapproval, "I swear to god, Ashley, if you hurt her…," he looked around the kitchen, hoping to find a threat laying in an empty cereal box in one of the open cabinets, "I'll never invite you to another party again," he smiled, trying to make light of his threat that was actually a very serious one.

"If she gets hurt she's hurting herself."

"Don't lead her on!" his irritation was growing and he was a big guy. You didn't want to fuck with him.

"I'm not!"

He shook his head again, "Go back to sleep, Ashley."

I stood up abruptly, "Fine!" I waltzed back into the bedroom and layed down quietly, never awaking Spencer. She was still in the same position. She was not a mover which was a complete 180 from me because I moved every five minutes. I didn't really fall back to sleep at all the rest of the night, but I kept my eyes closed, trying to relax.

I want to say it was around 10ish that I felt the bed kind of shaking which meant Spencer was waking. I opened my eyes and turned over on my side to get a better view of her stirring. Her eyes were closed in frustration, apparently she didn't like her body's alarm clock waking her so early as she tossed but couldn't fall back to sleep and with a groan she sat up, scanning the room.

"You're up!" I greeted excitedly.

She blinked a couple times, focusing her vision and she looked down at me and smiled sleepily, "Thanks captain obvious."

I slapped her thigh gently, reprimanding her insult, "I woke up at like 3:30 and haven't been able to sleep since."

"You were out by 10:15."

"Man, I suck," I closed my eyes, irritated at myself.

"It happens to us all."

"Did I say anything stupid?" I asked her a little worried, "I mean I remember last night but not with clarity of every detail."

She put her hand to her chin in pseudo thought, "Nothing stupider than what you'd normally say."

"Did I put the moves on anybody? I've been known to do that when I'm drunk. I don't know why."

"Maybe you're a horny drunk," she pondered, half concerned.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"You told me I was pretty," she smiled cockily and wiggled her eye brows as she turned away to continue scanning the room in sleepy haze.

My face turned bright red, I'm sure, even through my fairly olive complexion because I never complemented people, ever, "I'm a nice drunk."

She rolled her eyes not pleased with my answer, "Drunken words are sober thoughts."

"Whatever. It's not like you don't know your pretty," I rolled over on my side facing the wall, trying to force sleep to grace me with its presence.

She shrugged. I didn't see it but I could hear it just because I knew she was shrugging, "Too true."

"Where's Aiden?"

"I told him that I'd take you home."

"I wonder if he drank anything," I mused out loud.

"I think he might have had a beer, but that's it. I wouldn't have let him get in his car if he'd had much more."

"Good to know."

"Breakfast?"

"Huh?" I asked eagerly, rolling back over onto my back to face her.

"Want to go get breakfast before I take you home?"

I tried not to seem too enthusiastic about Spencer's offer for food as I shrugged but my eyes lit up at the mention of it that wouldn't go unbeknownst to anyone, especially Spencer, who'd taken a liking to studying me, "I guess."

She just stared at me, expressionless for a minute and it began to make me uncomfortable because I couldn't take being under a microscope. I started to fidget and my eyes moved from side to side with the casual noise I'd make due to the unease I was feeling.

"Let's go!" she let out cheerily and got up grabbing a grey hoodie that lay on the ground and a pair of jeans that lay beside it and it didn't dawn on me until now that all she was wearing was a grey wife beater and underwear.

I stared for a little too long, I know, because I was trying to make sense of why she had no pants on, but I willed it to be something of her own doing, having nothing to do with anything between us and stood up from the bed, "Ew what's on my shirt?" I asked, trying to rub it out.

She walked closer and grabbed my shirt where the spot was, eyeing the mark and her face scrunched in disgust, "Probably throw up."

"I can't wear this in public."

"Why not?"

"It has thow up on it!" I hissed.

Clearly frustrated, she sighed and unzipped her hoodie, handing it to me, "Just wear this."

"Won't you be cold?"

"It's August in Los Angeles, Ashley. Get real."

We sat in the diner and this kind of felt like deja vu except for it was 11am and I was hung over as hell and I ordered waffles this time.

"Ay dios mijos," I groaned and my head fell forward on the table making the glasses shake a little bit. I didn't have to look to know that Spencer pre cautionarily held her glass.

"You speak spanish?" she asked, interested and I let out an inaudible groan, "What's the matter buttercup?"

"My head is killing me."

"It wasn't hurting you an hour ago…"

"It was kind of a soft throb and now its going full force."

Her face showed her sympathy and how she was powerless to do anything, which I thought was sweet, "Do you want to leave?"

My head shot up faster than you could imagine and my eyes bulged, "Not until I get my waffles!"

"Ashley!" a voice called out from behind me and I kind of let out a frustrated noise. I loved Olivia but I didn't want her joining us right now.

I gave a half wave accompanied by a crooked smile, "Hey there…"

Julian strutted in along beside her and I swear, he made it his mission to always look good. A light blue and white striped tank top with black pants. He wore chanel sun glasses and I momentarily wondered how he could afford them considering he was your typical college student going to FIDM to become a marketing excecutive. His hair was always faux hawked perfectly and he patted his hair as he walked over, probably double checking his doo. He was a pretty guy. Not my type. But, very pretty.

"Hey gorgeous," he smiled as he slid in the booth next to me, using his finger to rub the abnormally large bags under my eyes and he frowned, "Sleepy?"

"Bad night."

"I feel great," Olivia beamed, looking over at Spencer who looked a bit stiff.

"You couldn't possibly. You drank easily as much as I did."

She shrugged, "Magic!"

"I'm serious livs how did you do it?"

She shrugged again, "I honestly don't know. I just passed out and woke up this morning, ate a whole loaf of bread and-"

"Whoa. You ate a whole loaf of bread?" Spencer asked, snapping out of whatever trance she was in.

"I was so hungry."

"And you're sure you didn't throw up last night?"

She shakes her head and smiles cutely. Typical Oliva.

They ordered their food and as usual Olivia got two eggs over medium with rye toast and hashbrowns. It always grossed Julian out when Olivia poured an excessive amount of ketchup on her hashbrowns because he didn't think ketchup was normal, "I'm telling you girl, that shit's not normal," he looked pained to watch. See. Told you.

"Ketchup is the food of the gods, Julian," she stated evenly, not looking up from smacking the bottom of the bottle, letting the contents flood her hashbrowns.

Julian got his typical cobb salad and I swear...my friends are really predictable. I'm the only one who changes it up a bit, "So, Spencer," Julian began and finished chewing his fork full of salad, "You and Ash all tight now?"

She looked at me and smiled, "I guess you could say we're friends."

"You guys going to do the nasty again?" he asked, interest clearly piqued.

"Julian stop," I warned.

"Yeah, what's it like having sex with Ashley?" Olivia joined, "I mean not the details but I mean, how does it feel knowing you broke down some pretty tough walls that I'm pretty sure are made of steel."

"I was drunk," she let out baffled at their questions.

"Does she do anything...icky?" Julian asked leaning forward like a child hearing a bedtime story and it'd gotten to the good part.

"Guys!" I yelled, "Uncalled for," they all looked at me a little surprised, even Spencer at my outburst and I looked down embarassed and continued to eat my waffles.

"So you're really a lesbian?" Julian asked Spencer, acting like my reprimanding never happened.

"Definitely."

He stuck out his hand, "Welcome to the all gays straights excluded club."

Spencer laughed, "I think I've been in this club since I was seven."

He nodded knowingly, "Three."

"Ah. Yeah, sorry, Ashley and Olivia have to leave. Straights aren't allowed at this table," Spencer told us smugly.

I pouted and Olivia laughed at my pout and Spencer glared at my pout but she couldn't do it, "You can stay."

I smiled and continued to eat because as the sun beamed in through the window all too brightly, and as Olivia made a horrific mess of bloody hash browns that mortified Julian and while Spencer gnawwed at her bacon silently with a hum, I knew that things in this moment were good, except I couldn't help but feeling a slight pang of something unknown in my body. Of doubt and of unease but I pushed it aside with my empty, gooey plate and sighed in relief.


	9. Margaritas and Cock

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to do a new chapter. I knew once school started up again it'd be difficult plus AP testing came around plus college decisions and shit and it became really hectic. Anyway, AP tests out of the way. Hooray! College decision out of the way. Hooray! I'm so sad though because I totally just got a sinus infection and an ear infection at the same time and I feel like poo so I can't go to Long Beach pride...and I already bought my NONrefundable ticket. :( SO sad. Anyway, enough about me. Here ya go.**

I sat on the well worn couch with a bottle of beer in one hand and a cheeseburger from In N Out in the other hand and switched off between the two. This was the picture of perfection. We were all over at Olivia's kicking back and relaxing. Who needed to be out partying on a Saturday night when you could be chilling? The couch that I sat on was deeply sunken in and deeply worn because it was her parents first couch that they got at their wedding. It was replaced a few years back by a nice $2000 leather sofa and the piece of shit was just gathering dust in the garage. Olivia didn't mind it though and it made its way into her apartment.

I sat on the furthest left end of the couch while Julian sat on the furthest right and Spencer layed in between us with her head on my lap, legs draped over Julians. Occasionally she'd lift her head to take a sip of her beer but other than that she was firmly planted.

"Where's Jerry?" Aiden asked, scanning the room. It was no secret that he'd always had a thing for Olivia. Well, after he got over his thing he had for me when he finally accepted the fact that I looked at him as a brother.

She shrugged annoyed, sitting on the recliner across from the couch, "He's been totally M-I-A lately."

"Oh, girl maybe he's cheating," Julian let out in warning though it was overtly evident that the issue at hand was presented as scandelous to him and he'd much rather it continue problematically than have it just be nipped in the butt.

Spencer slightly shook her head in amusement and I jumped slightly from the movement of her head in my lap. She looked up at me questioningly and I shook my head as if to say don't worry about it. It was funny how quickly she made her way into our group. Julian loved her because he said they had the gay bond "even if she is a lesbian" he'd say. Olivia and her meshed remarkably well after Spencer got used to Olivia being somewhat touched. Aiden moved into the more indifferent category which was a step up from disliking her and that's how she nuzzled her way in. And I think I'm just happy to have her around.

"Do you always have to assume the worst?" Olivia grilled, clearly irritated.

"I'm just a skeptic by nature," he let out with a slight turn of his head in an abnormally snotty way.

"There's a difference between being a skeptic and assuming the worst in people."

"I met a guy yesterday," I blurted out, not really knowing how to avoid their argument.

Everyone looked at me in shock except Spencer. Her expression was hard to read as she just looked up at me a little irritated. I looked back up at everyone to see them staring at me, waiting for me to answer, "Who?" Aiden asked a little defensively.

"His name's Sam."

Olivia's interest was clearly piqued, "Where did you meet him?"

I blushed a little looking down in nervous habit only to be met with Spencer's perplexed face that I couldn't look at and forced my head back up, "The gas station."

Aiden's face contorted into a look of pure displeasure and hysterics, "What?"

"I said the gas station."

"I know what you said. Why would you ever meet a guy at a gas station."

"It's not like I go pump gas with the intent on meeting a guy, Aiden."

He shook his head irritated, "Please tell me it wasn't at night."

"No. Broad daylight. Please, I'm not stupid."

"Well, I think this is great!" Olivia yelled out excitedly, clapping her hands, "When are you guys going out?"

"Tomorrow," I smiled, "We're just going to get something to eat. Nothing special."

"Is he cute?" Julian asked. I loved that boy but he was kind of shallow.

"I think so."

"What color hair? Height? Color eyes? Build? Hair style? Clothing style?"

"Brown hair, kinda shaggy, pretty tall, blue eyes-"

"Oh, girl you have a winner! Blue eyes are gorgeous! I always wished I had blue eyes."

"Blue eyes are so nice," Olivia agreed.

"I know," I sighed, picturing his blue eyes, "It's like you could drown in them...but in a good way," I looked down at Spencer and smiled. I'd never noticed how blue her eyes were. Like the eye of a storm. Processing. I looked back up, "Anyway, he seems to have a pretty athletic build. I don't think he has a six pack but kinda fit. He wears the surfer style very well too."

"Exciting!" Julian gasped, thrilled by my date.

"Do you know what Sam does?" Spencer asked skeptically.

I shook my head, "I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow."

"I see. Well, hopefully it all works out for you," she responded robotically.

"Thanks," I smiled at her.

* * *

"Wear this! It'll compliment your skin tone!" Olivia handed me an olive colored halter top with a floral pattern. I hadn't worn it in years. I hated this top. "Spencer doesn't it look really nice on her?" We turned to Spencer who was reading a National Geographic while sitting on my bed.

She looked up from her magazine and her eyes scanned me, "You look nice."

I nodded in thanks, "I appreciate it."

I'll admit I was kind of nervous for Olivia to see Sam because there was always that moment of judgement between friends with boyfriends. I tried to loosen up but my nerves stayed tightly wound and when I heard a knock at the door I slightly jumped in surprise and at being shaken from my thoughts.

I opened the door and there was Sam, looking a lot nicer than the day I had met him at the gas station and he brought his arm out front to reveal a single red rose.

"How cliche," Spencer whispered in my ear as she walked over to where Olivia was standing.

"Well, we're going to go," I called out to the both of them, and Olivia waved happily and Spencer just gave a one wave and I shut the door.

* * *

We sat on the beach after eating at the beach shack that overlooked the ocean and it was quite nice. We took our shoes off and Sam rolled up his pants a little bit and we sat at the shore where when the water just finished its rush up it'd hit our feet, cooling my toes and the balls of my feet. It was relaxing.

"So does rock legend Raife Davies' daughter have any musical talent?" he joked casually throwing a stone that badly skipped in the tide.

I shrugged, "I guess I can play guitar a little bit."

He shifted his view and was looking at me, "Don't be modest. I bet you're really good."

I shrugged again with an embarrased smile, "I've been known to rip out quite a few intricate chords at one time."

"Oh really?"

I nodded quietly.

"We should totally jam together sometime."

"You play?"

"Bass, actually."

"Oh, that could be a problem," I challenged jokingly.

"Why's that?"

"Because I don't date bass players. Too much of an attitude problem."

"But bass players know how to do things better."

"Like what?" I asked overly curious, playing in his little game.

"This," he leaned in and kissed me and pretty soon it turned into a make out session, not sure how that happened, but you know how when you close your eyes you see different colors in the black. I kept seeing blue. Like the waves rushing onto shore, so much blue that it was flooding my closed eyed vision. And then I saw Spencer and her little smiling face smirking at me slamming into my closed eyes. For the love of god why was Spencer in my mind when I was kissing Sam? But I let everything continue because right here and right now I was with Sam and he was still an amazing guy.

He drove me back to Olivia's becuase that's where I was previously and I knew I was probably going to be spending the night there.

"I had a nice time."

"Me too."

"We should...do this again some time?" he asked timidly.

I couldn't help but to smile at his shyness, "Definitely."

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my lips which kind of made me blush at the gentleness of it considering we were making out for practically an hour earlier.

"Good night."

I stepped out of the car and walked in expecting to see nobody awake but as I walked in I saw Spencer still there huddled closely to Olivia talking quietly.

I cleared my throat as they both jumped and Spencer's face was kind of pink and Olivia just...well she looked like Olivia. She gave Spencer one last look that I couldn't read and then turned to me, "So how was it?" she screeched excitedly in typical Olivia fashion.

I smiled genuinly, "It was really nice."

"What'd you guys do?"

"We ate at some beach shack along the beach and then we sat on the beach and….talked."

"By talk you mean a little something something," she wiggled her eye brows annoyingly.

"We just made out...a lot."

"Sounds yummy," Spencer let out sarcastically.

"It was," I replied, a little forcefully.

"Sorry, I don't do boys."

"Somebody has to."

"So why don't you leave that somebody up to Olivia?" she looked up and smiled triumphantly.

I squinted my eyes in a pissed off way about to go off the railing and give her a piece of my mind when Olivia interrupted my almost outburst, "This calls for a celebration."

I stepped back from the couch worriedly, "What kind of celebration?"

"Margaritas!" she clapped her hands and ran to the kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge and and pushing the blender to the front of the counter.

It was like Olivia was on speed because every time she grabbed an ingreidient she jumped a little with excitement, and I stood next to her amused, acting as sue chief. Spencer had sauntered up behind us, observing, "Strawberry ones?"

"They're the only kind I like," Olivia replied excitedly, "Strawberries," she held out her hand and I handed her the bag of frozen strawberries. She poured the rest of the contents and blended it, scouping a tiny bit in a cup for me to try.

"Mmm, nice and strawberry-y."

"Let me try," Spencer butted in between us and gave me another look that just twisted the muscles in my brain and looked back at Olivia, taking the cup, "Not strong enough, here," she grabbed the Cuervos and poured much more in, followed by some more triple sec and blended it up, "Now, try this."

As Olivia sipped the red contents she coughed a little, "That's...strong."

"It'll feel better, I promise," she smiled confidently at her abilities.

* * *

We all layed on the couch sipping Margies. I think I've had at least two and Olivia must have had three because when I looked up last she was totally tanked out on the end of the couch.

"I'm surprised thass not you!" Spencer slurred as her eyes barely leveled my stare and fuzzily looked at me through her lopsided grin. She was so cute when she was toasted.

I giggled at her ridiculous remark, "Why would that be me?"

"Causssse you're always passed out! Duh!"

I don't know why but I couldn't stop giggling, "I can control my liquor sometimes you know."

"Like right now?" she more stated than asked and her head began to kinda hang because she couldn't hold it up.

"I am in control."

"Is that like your thing? You gotta be in control or something? Is that why you're going out with that guy?"

"No."

"No you don't always have to be in control or no that's not why you're going out with him?" she sang the question like she'd trapped me and her head swayed from side to side, unintentionally I'm sure.

"You think real well when you're drunk."

"Anshur the quesshion Ashhhley."

"No to both."

"So why are you going out with him?"

"Because he's nice."

"But there's so many better people you could be doing things with than him!"

"Like who?"

"Like...like...I...I dunno," she laughed and let her head completely fall as her body sank into the couch next to me, "Is he the one who juss made you feel it so's you know?"

"No he's not like that, Spencer."

"Then what's he like?"

"I don't know…"

"Tell me Ashhhley, what's he like?"

"It's like…reaching for stars but realizing they're too far so you're okay with tops of buildings."

Spencer bellowed out a laugh, "What does that even meannnn?"

I laughed with her, "I don't even know."

She began running her fingers through my hair and my breathing got became softer, "Your hair'ssosoft."

"It's always soft."

"It smells real good too."

"Garnier Fructise."

She put her face up to my head, breathing in the smell, "Mmmm smellssss good," and then she kissed my head, and laid back next to me.

"G'night Ashhhley."

"Night Spencer."


	10. Connect the Dots

"Have you talked to Spencer lately?" I mused as I snapped my bubble gum out of my mouth out of sheer boredom. We were sitting at Olivia's kitchen table planning her end of the summer bbq. Boringggg.

"Uh...yesterday I think," she touched her pen to her mouth in thought and began to nibble on the end which completely grossed me out when people did that, "So we have hot dogs and hamburgers for the meat, that should be good right? But maybe some people don't like either. Should I get some chicken breasts too?"

"Did Spencer text you or what?"

"No she came over yesterday. Chicken breasts?" I shook my head in irritation, "So that's no to the chicken breasts," she crossed off the word chicken breasts on the list quickly and stared down at the piece of paper in thought.

"How come she asked to hang out with you and not me?"

"What kind of beer should we have?"

"That's dumb. She was my friend first."

"You know what, we should definitely have Mikes Lemonade," she scribbled something down on the list.

"I haven't seen her in a week. Since we all slept over at your house."

"So I'm going to tell everyone to arrive at 4ish, does that sound good?" she looked up from the list.

I nodded and continued, "I mean has she said anything about me? She hasn't talked to me."

"Now this isn't a party so I don't want this to get out of hand," Olivia stated putting her hands up as as a warning.

"Is Spencer coming?"

"Will you shut up about Spencer?"

"What…?"

"It's not like she has to be attached to you at all times. You do realize that don't you? Give her some air, jesus."

"Whoa where is this coming from?"

"I just…," she paused and looked around, as she ran both of her hands through her hair in stress, "I think you need to leave her alone."

"Why…? She said something didn't she?"

"No!" she jumped up, "You know what? Let's go to the store, okay? I need to get stuff for the bbq.

We drove to the store in silence and the air in the car felt abnormally thick that it was making me slightly uncomfortable so I'd fidget occasionally. I followed Olivia around the store monotonously because shopping at the market always bored me. The sound of her ringing startled us both as it broke out into B.O.B.'s song.

"Beautiful girls. All over the world. I could be chasing but my time would be wasted, they got nothing on you, baby…"

I eyed Olivia's purse with a mocking facial expression at her poor choice of ringers.

"It's catchy!" she scrambled for her phone and answered it, "Hey! No, yeah you can totally bring her. Uh huh. Yeah, well I'm pretty sure that Ashley's bringing Sam and Chelsea's bringing Derek and I'm having Jerry come," I made a gag face to which Olivia glared and then quickly focused back on her conversation, "I was going to have everybody arrive at 4ish. No, you so don't have to bring anything Spence, don't even worry about it. Just bring yourself and your sexy date," Olivia laughed and I could tell it was a genuine one because I knew Olivia, "I know, right? I know. Wow. She's a keeper already! Anyway, we have to finish shopping. Oh, me and Ashley. Yeah, I dragged her along. I know, you know how she hates the market, just imagine her poor bored face."

"Hi Spencer!" I yelled obnoxiously just to annoy Olivia who again glared at me but then quickly laughed again over something I'm sure Spencer said. Well, she was just a riot wasn't she?

Olivia turned to me, "Spencer says hello, anyway, so we do have to finish shopping. So you can come? Great! I look forward to seeing you there and meeting your no beau! Okay. Take care. Bye," she hung up her phone and continued searching for the food items needed on her list.

"Uh, what was that?"

"What was what? Oh good a deal on hot dogs!" she grabbed a couple packs and put then in our cart.

"You on the phone with Spencer."

"Me on the phone with Spencer…," her mirroring of my question pissed me off.

"What was she saying?"

"That she can come."

"With who?"

"Oh...shit what's her name...Allie I think."

I rolled my eyes at Spencer's nonsense, "So that's the girl of the week?"

"Spencer really likes this one, actually," she informed me grabbing hamburger meat and placing it in the cart.

"I'm sure she does," I replied sarcastically.

She turned around and gave me one of the most serious looks I've ever seen, "She really does, Ashley. And I swear to god if you do something to fuck it up, I'll be so disappointed in you. She needs this right now. It hasn't been her year with romance."

"Who's has it been?" I asked rhetorically.

"I'm serious, Ashy," she lightened up a bit.

I nodded in understanding, "Not a problem."

After taking forever to decide which Hamburger buns to get because that's the kind of shit that mattered to Olivia we headed back to her place and stocked the fridge with everything needed.

Olivia sighed as we finisihed, "I can't believe school's about to start up again…"

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

She shook her head and smiled, "You know I love you, right?"

I laughed a little uncomfortably, "I think so."

"I'm just saying I know I give you a hard time about certain things sometimes but it's coming from the right place."

We hugged. I don't hug people very often and that's probably because I don't like hugs but Olivia always got a hug.

"How hot is it that a girl can barbeque?" Olivia asked me legitimately, as she grabbed hotdogs and hamburger patties out of the fridge, leading them out back to the barbeque.

"It's hot," I nodded eagerly.

"I brought drinks!" Aiden yelled out as he walked through the door.

"Aiden, how do you get alcohol? You're such a baby," Olivia scolded. She was 22 and always frowned upon us when we bought alcohol somehow even though she applauded it.

"What can I say? I look 21 and the I.D. works everytime," he smiled cheesily.

Olivia shook her head at him, "Ash take his beers and put them in the fridge would ya?"

"Sure," I walked with him into the house, unloading the Samuel Adams into the fridge.

"Who's coming?"

"Uh...Chelsea and Derek, Spencer and some girl-,"

"She has a girlfriend?" he asked surprised.

"Pfft. Not a girlfriend. Her weekly play thing."

He shrugged, "I can dig it. Anyway, who else?"

"Uh...Jerry," his shoulders sagged at the mention of the guy's name. He hated him. Probably mostly because he had Olivia and Aiden didn't, "Julian and Sam."

"Sam's coming?" he asked skeptically.

I smiled, "Yeah."

"Considering he's never come inside, I look forward to meeting him."

"And meet him you shall."

"We're here!"

I greeted Chelsea at the door, Derek at her side and she held a container of Potato Salad, which I very quickly grabbed. We love Chelsea's Potato Salad. It's kind of like crack...kind of.

"I'll just go put this away in the fridge. Olivia's outside."

They entered the backyard and I was struggling to find a place for this potato salad in Olivia's overstuffed garage when a familiar voice broke out behind me, "Mmm work it girl!"

I turned around and was met with Julian and he held out his arms for me to hug, which I did because he was one of the other people I'd hug and he handed me a bottle of Champaigne because Julian thought it was best to end the night that way.

"This is Vince," he introduced me to the guy next to him who was really attractive. Bleach blonde surfer hair that kind of stuck up at an angle on his head like it'd just dried from being in the beach water during a surf sesh. He wore a black and grey striped tank top with blue jeans and blue vans. He had the most gorgeous green eyes. I think I had to step back for a minute. That was Julian, shallow as ever, but who knows if he had any personality.

"Hi, I'm Ashley," I smiled and shook his hand.

"Oh, I've heard about you," he smiled back.

"All good things I hope."

He smiled assuringly, "Nothing but."

As we started to make our way to the back I heard a knock at the door and I ran to it opening it quickly, greeted with Sam, "Hey cutie."

I led him to the backyard, "Everyone, this is Sam."

Aiden glared at him in scrupulation and Julian visually scanned him from head to toe and then nodded at me with a flashy smile letting me know he approved which was nice I guess. We sat and we dished and we talked and occasionally I'd turn to glance around back inside through the slider to see if anyone was coming because I could swear Olivia told me Spencer was going to be coming. I hadn't seen her in a like a week and a half and I kind of miss having her around.

"I'm going to fire up the grill because as much as I love chips and guacamole, I need a hot dog."

"Yeah you do!" Aiden joked which led to Jerry having an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Who wants a hot dog?" Olivia called out looking up from the grill, setting a few hot dogs down.

"Uhm...I'm going to say I'll have to pass, but I will take a burger if you're serving them," we all turned around to see Spencer smiling, girl in toe and container in the other hand.

Olivia excitedly ran over to her, "Oooh what do we have here?"

Spencer shrugged nonchalantly, "I decided I'd make a cake."

"Box mix or by scratch?" Julian asked as if it actually mattered. The boy couldn't cook to save his life.

"By scratch. Of course."

"Jer, go put the cake in the fridge will you?" Olivia batted her eyes at him and he smiled like an idiot and skipped up from his chair to place Spencer's cake in the fridge, "And who do we have here?" she turned to the pretty girl next to her.

"Allie," she stuck out her hand kindly for Olivia to shake who then shook the hell out of it, razzling the girl a bit. That's right, if you can't handle us you shouldn't be here.

I have to admit, she was beautiful. In a like 50's girl kind of way. She had these bette bangs that she actually pulled off and black hair with ruby red lipstick that just worked for her.

"That's Chelsea and her boyfriend Derek, Aiden, Julian and...I don't believe we've met," Spencer turned towards Vince.

"Vice," he smiled and waved slightly.

She nodded in embarassment of not knowing who he was which made her a little flushed, "Right. So Vince. Olivia. Her boyfriend Jerry who just went into the kitchen. And uh...Sam is it?," he nodded, "Yeah...uh...Sam...Ashley's...the guy she's dating and uhm...hey Ashley," she turned to me with the most empty look I've ever seen coming out of her.

I half smiled and waved, "Uh, hey."

"Hi," she replied back softer.

"So anyway, that's Ashley and that's everyone," Olivia finished.

"Uh, yeah, that's everyone," Spencer finished after Olivia's finish.

As we stood around and stirred idle chit chat Olivia cooked the food and when it was ready we all sat around her patio table. You're probably wondering why Olivia has such a nice set up for a 22 year old. Well, for one her parents are loaded because her dad's a lawyer but second, she's going into sports medicine which actually makes bank and she has some internship right not at some random place that pays her crazy good money. Ergo, her flashy pad.

"So how long have you guys been going out?" Julian asked Spencer using his fork to point between the two of them.

"Oh uh...like a couple weeks I think?" Spencer asked the girl sat next to her who nodded.

"I think so. I don't really keep track of those kind of things. Never mattered to me," she shrugged.

"Now that's a woman!" Aiden jumped in. I'm pretty sure he was drooling over Spencer's date. Go ahead. Let him. He can have her. Spencer doesn't need a girlfriend.

"So that's around the same time that Ashley and Sam have been dating, then," Olivia mused as she looked at her plate scooping some potato salad.

Spencer shot her an angry look that Olivia looked up just in time to see, "I'm just saying you guys are on the same track is all."

"How funny. Ashley gets a new beau and so does Spencer," Julian laughed, I think trying to hint at something.

Spencer shrugged in annoyance, "Whatever," and she stretched her arms out in a comfortable stretch as well as her legs which totally kicked me.

"Ah!" I jumped in surprise.

"What?"

"Your feet are cold."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

I don't know who's idea it was to make it so Spencer had to sit across from me but I think Sam could read that I was getting tense because he placed his hand on my thigh and rubbed in a calming motion. I turned to him and smiled until he got a little bit nosy with his hand to which I glared at him.

"What?" he mouthed.

"Not here," I mouthed back.

He looked sullen but he withdrew his hand and I looked up to see Spencer perplexively staring at me. She tilted her head to the side and her eye brows shot up curiously as she mouthed "What?"

I shook my head no telling her to leave it but again she mouthed, "Tell me." But I just shook my head again.

After we ate we all sat around the fire pit talking and drinking while eating pieces of Spencer's cake whicih I have to admit was delicious. Who knew she could cook.

"Let's play five fingers," Aiden suggested like the idiot he is. I swear. I love him but not always the best ideas.

"Fuck. No."

"Why not? You scared Ash?"

"That's ridiculous. Let's go. Let's do this."

"Okay then you start," he challenged.

"Fine. Okay uhm...I've never...I've never taken it up the ass," I smirk looking at Julian and his boy who both put a finger down. My eyes scan around to see if anyone else does and nobody does.

Aiden nods towards Olivia, "You're next."

"Uh okay let's see. I've never...had a threesome."

"Oh babe, we should do that sometime," Jerry suggests like the moron he is.

"And I don't plan on it," she finishes.

I keep my fingers up because I haven't engaged in one but Aiden puts a finger down and I shudder as well as Julian and Derek and Chelsea just shakes her head.

"I've never driven under the influence," Chelsea states proudly and we all are proud of Chelsea. She's kind of like a model citizen.

Basically we all put our fingers down except for Spencer's girl toy and I look at her amused, "Perfect are we?"

"No. I just don't drink or do drugs of any kind."

"Why not…?"

"I choose not to. They're not for me. I've tried them. Didn't like it."

"Well, now that we know you picked the fuckin' virgin mary, Spencer…" I muttered.

"What?" she asked a little irritated.

"Nothing."

"Okay okay my turn," Derek began, "Uh...I've never snorted Coke."

Spencer put her finger down. Oh. My. God, "What?" I yell outraged.

"It was high school. It was only a few times. No big deal."

"You snorted coke?" I yelled again.

"What are you my mother?"

I shook my head, "Whatever. I need to pee. Excuse me," and just like that I removed myself from the conversation.

I had almost made it to the bathroom when I heard footsteps behind me and I didn't have to turn around to know who's they were, "Ashley…," she breathed out.

"What?"

"Why does that even bother you?" I didn't answer, "Because it shouldn't."

"You're right. And it doesn't."

"That's obviously a lie." Again I didn't answer and she sighed.

"Look, Spencer do whatever you want."

"Life's not that simple."

"Shouldn't it be?"

"Well, it's not," she sighed again, "What is wrong, Ashley?"

"You haven't texted me for almost two weeks," I let out shyly, scared.

"So?" She fired back.

"So it bothers me."

"Why?"

"Because you keep in touch with Olivia."

She shrugged, clearly exhausted, "I also didn't have sex with Olivia."

"So this is what this is about then? Because I understand if it's awkward and if you're trying to say that everytime you see me you can't stop invisioning me naked I totally get that too cause I'm kind of having the same problem with you but I just kind of-,"

She cut off my ramble, shaking her head in amusement, "How do you even remember what I look like naked?"

"Bits and pieces have come back to me since…"

She laughed a little bit, "Just enjoy your boyfriend and I'll enjoy my girlfriend and lets not get into eachother's businesses, okay?"

"Fine."


	11. Bad Romance

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while. Things have been so hectic with work, and graduating and my birthday and just all this shit. But, I'm back! :) So without further ado the story...**

"I don't feel right being here. Summer went by too quick. I've decided that I'm not ready to let summer be over yet."

He chuckled at my relatable notion, "Me. Either. Fuck school."

I shook my head and laughed with him, "Amen, brotha."

"Where you headed?"

"Uh," I looked down at my schedule, "211; Motion picture production I."

"Didn't you take that last semester?"

"No...I took intro to video production."

"Right. Your short you made with me as the silent star!" he stopped and stood in an athletic star stance with his hands on his hips, cocking his head back basking in the sun.

"And you wonder why people think you're gay."

He frowned, "I'm not gay, Ash."

I laughed at his pouty face, "I know that, Aiden. Anyway, I have five minutes to get across campus. Have fun in…"

"Comparative neurobiology…"

I continued laughing at him, "Sounds...fun."

"Definitely," he mocked sarcastically.

I turned to face him as he walked into his class and waved as I continued to walk backward quickly towards my class.

I felt a harsh thud with the collision of another person and then a harsh smack as my body hit the cement like a bag of bricks, "Shit!" I yelled out as a reaction to the pain that was coursing through my body. I swear it felt like I'd broken all my bones.

"Oh my head…," my killer groaned wousily.

I whipped my head around at the sound of her voice and glared slightly, "Spencer."

I think she got whip lash from the quickness she turned her head around in complete shock, "Oh hey there…"

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing you are."

"You're going to motion picture production I?" I asked a little too excitedly.

She gave me a curious look but didn't venture any further, "No, I'll leave the movie making to you."

"Wait, you're here. As in a student. Did you decide what you finally wanted to do?"

She looked down at her lap shyly, "Uh huh."

"That's amazing! What is it?" She lifted her book up without looking up and held it in front of me, "Brain and Behavior?" I read out loud.

She looked up and smiled cutely, "I want to be a social worker."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My dad's a social worker and...I don't know. I've always admired what he's done and how he's helped kids. I guess I just want to do that."

I nodded knowingly and then stopped, "Hey look uhm...Spencer…-,"

"Spence?" a voice asked outraged.

I turned around and looked up, "Jesus christ, I mumbled to myself and quickly stood up. Allie eyed me bizarrely and Spencer quickly stood up behind me.

"What's going on here?" with a slight bit of accusation in her tone. I wonder what she knew.

"We kind of crashed into each other," Spencer explained nervously.

"Literally," I helped.

Allie eyed me suspiciously, "Well I just got out of class. Want to go get a coffee?" she asked Spencer sweetly.

She smiled adoringly, "Sure. It was nice talking to you, Ash."

I nodded bye and they walked to the Starbucks. Allie grabbed Spencer's hand and I swear this felt too fuckin' perfect.

* * *

I sat through my video pro class with my head flat against the table and while Mr. Lewis rambled about the art of a good motion picture, I drew squiggly circles on my notebook. I honestly have never felt this exhausted so I decided to grab a coffee but momentarily thought, maybe I shouldn't because that's where Spencer and Allie were but there was no way they could be there an hour and a half later.

I pulled open the door and with the blowing air that came from me opening the door, Spencer whipped around in surprise, especially when she saw it was me. She was stood near the drink area awaiting a drink, by herself and my shoulders sagged because I honestly don't know why she was still here, but I gave up in defeat, realizing the fates were obviously trying to tell me something with the amount of times we've collided, literally and metaphorically.

She siddled over to me, "Hey."

"You're still here."

"She had to go talk to a professor and then she said she'd be right back but it's been 30 minutes."

"Well, it does take a while to get across campus." I don't even know why I was defending this girl.

She shruggedd as she stood there awkwardly, "I guess."

I sighed, "What's wrong, Spencer?"

"Nothing at all."

"I miss hanging out, " I blurted out.

Half of a grimace curved up into a smile, "You do?"

I smiled and nodded, "I do."

"Then we should uh…definitely hang out some time soon."

"Come to Olivia's tonight?"

She gave me a skeptical look, "What are you guys planning on doing?"

"Drankin'. What else?"

She laughed whole heartedly, "I'll be there. Good thing my first class doesn't start till 2 on Tuesdays."

"Yeah Olivia's is at 11 so I don't know how she plans on pulling that off."

"What about you?"

"I don't have class on Tuesday. I'm not sure how that worked out."

She shook her head amused, "Okay okay, I'll be there."

* * *

Spencer walked in the door at 8:07 and Olivia greeted her immediately with a cranberry vodka and swayed slightly.

"Well she didn't waste any time," Spencer laughed into the hug while Olivia embraced her warmly.

"Jerry cheated on her," I stated pained by the idea and Spencer frowned.

"What an idiot. He's an idiot, Olivia. You know that right?"

She nodded through her lop sided smile, "I guess."

"You're beauitful," she grabbed Olivia's shoulders as if trying to shake her into reality.

"He's a doof!" she yelled and chugged down the last bit of her drink, "Whoo! I'm spent. I think I need to go to beddie bye. Spence, it was nice talking to you."

"Wait, Olivia you can't just go to bed!" I called out after her.

She turned around and looked at me through squinty eyes and a flushed face, "It's okay Ashy, I know you want alone time with her anyway," she smiled and then stalked off to bed.

I rolled my eyes in slight irritation, "What'll it be be Carlin?"

"You got a jack and coke?"

"I do believe we have that."

"Perfect," she smiled.

I poured the concoction slowly as I grabbed a glass stirrer from the canister and began to stir the drink. Time felt like it was swollen and it'd last in this one state forever, going by excruciatingly slow. I could feel her presence standing further back behind me, closer to the doorway of the kitchen, not daring to get too close. I turned around and handed her her drink and she graciously took it, walking back into the living room, leaving me to follow her with my margarita in hand.

* * *

"Againnn we're back on the couch."

I laughed at her comment in all its accuracy, "How many drinks have you had?"

"I dunsoo."

I laughed wildly because I could feel the heat pulsing through my body as the mixture of various juices combined with liquor warmed my drunken stupor, "You. Are. Too. Much."

"Orrrr not enough!"

"What's that sposed to mean?"

"I do not know."

"Why are we always drunk? We're so irresonspible."

"Dude. We're college students! It's what we doooooo! Work hard play hard."

Her stupid drunk comments made me giggle, "I do work pretty hard."

She crawled up toward me and as I looked down I could see her making her way toward me, "Not too hard I'd hope," she winked

And I don't know why but I had a fit of the giggles, "I don't like em' that hard."

"I like them SOFTER," she said through a loud whisper.

"You mean wetter. Duh."

"Well of course. But that's never a problem," she winked again.

She crawled a little further where half her body was on mine and the other half was slanted onto the couch, which caused me to have a little trouble breathing, "You're crushing me. I'm having trouble breathing."

She just looked at me and blinked, "Ash, I'm not that heavy."

"I know you're not."

She patted my chest gently, "So you gots some problems since you can't breath well," and she collapsed a bit as she rested her head on my chest.

"I'm healthy."

"Hm?"

"I don't have breathing problems."

"Your breathing sounds a little shakeyyy," she taunted.

"It's….its not."

"Is so. Your heart is also beating at an unhealthy rate."

"My heart is healthy!"

She climbed further up my body so her face was right in front of me, "You should really get that checked out," she smiled arrogantly. Even in drunkeness she was an arrogant bastard.

"My heart's healthy! God."

She shook her head in disapproval, "If you only would have laid off the booze…"

I laughed at her rambling, "You're so much drunker than I am."

She laughed with me, "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"I don't care."

She lifted her head and looked back up at me, "We should so recreate the night we first met. It'd be hot."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" she asked in all seriousness, like it was no longer a joke.

"Because."

"Becausssse whyyyy?"

"Because I'm not…," I turned my head to look away from her because I couldn't look into her eyes anymore, "I'm not like you."

She slammed her hands down on my chest, which actually hurt quite a bit and stood up, "I can't do this with you anymore Ashhh."

She was scary because she was mad and slurring and so I could barely understand her and her eyes kept flickering around from place to place, "Do what?"

"This! Whatever the fuck thissss isss."

"You don't want to be my friend?"

She shook her head somberly, "No. I don't want to be your friend. I'm sorry."

"Why?" I asked dejectedly. Drunk and upset is not the way to be.

"Listen to bad romance. Lady gaga says it all."

"I don't listen to the gaga."

She turned back around to look at me, "I want your love. I don't want to be friends."

"Oh wow Spencer I don't think I can give you that."

"Then I'm out."

"But...you can't drive!"

"I'll sleep in another room and leave in the morning."


End file.
